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FAT ALBERT AND THE COSBY KIDS

 

                                                                        TELEPLAY

           

 

PAINT IT BLACK

 

            ACT ONE

 

FADE IN:

 

WIDE ANGLE INSIDE CLUBHOUSE

 

The gang is sitting around a large upturned hat, taking turns at pitching playing cards into it.

 

ON BUCKY AND HAT

 

He throws a card from his hip, it twirls into the hat.

 

                                                BUCKY

            I spotted a new one this morning.

            'WACKO' in bright red DAY GLOW on

            Doc Collins' office.

 

ON RUSSELL AND HAT

 

His card slips through the air quickly from an across the chest throw and disappears into the hat.

 

                                                RUSSELL

            Bucky, did you see the one

            that says 'SLIP KNOTS'?

 

ON BUCKY

 

With a broad grin.

 

                                                BUCKY

            'SLIP KNOTS', that's funny.

 

ON DUMB DONALD AND HAT

 

With a serious look he throws a card and it splits into two cards. Both swirl into the hat. The gang laughs.

 

                                                WEIRD HAROLD (VO)

            Fancy smancy Annie Oaklee.

 

                                                DUMB DONALD

            Call me Donald, that's my name.

 

Donald has his hands on his hips and looks stern.

 

 

                                                WEIRD HAROLD (VO)

            Okay Donald Oaklee.

 

The gang laughs.

 

ON RUDY AND HAT

 

He takes careful aim, throws and misses.

 

 

 

                                                RUDY

            I don't think those slogans are

            a bit funny. Neither do the

            store owners.

 

ON WEIRD HAROLD

 

He is smiling and waves his hand as to brush Rudy aside.

 

                                                WEIRD HAROLD

            Go on Rudy, some of them are funny.

            How about 'SOFT SOAP' at the laundry?

 

                                                BUCKY (VO)

            And 'CLEAN GREASE' on Bill's Garage.

 

Weird Harold begins laughing and Bucky's (VO) joins him.

 

ON FAT ALBERT AND HAT

 

                                                FAT ALBERT

            Hey, hey, hey, those are funny, but

            Rudy is right. The store owners think

            they're just eye sores on their buildings.

 

Fat Albert takes a card and throws it toward the hat. It soars up to the ceiling and then slowly floats down into the hat. He laughs.

 

ON WEIRD HAROLD AND HAT

 

He flips a card under a raised leg. It flies toward Rudy, who ducks, but the card curves away from his and lands in the hat. The gang laughs.

 

ON BUCKY AND HAT

 

                                                BUCKY

            Well I can see why a Doctor wouldn't

            want 'WACKO' on his building.

  

                                                WEIRD HAROLD (VO)

            Bucky, the WACKO YACKO.

 

                                                BUCKY

            Funny bunny! I wonder who is doing the           slogans.

 

Bucky winds up a baseball pitch and lets his card fly. It zooms through the air and stops right above the hat, then falls zoom into it.

 

ON DUMB DONALD AND HAT

 

He winds up and lets loose a baseball throw, but nothing comes out of his hand. He raises his hand to his face and looks at both sides of it.

 

                                                DUMB DONALD

            I know I didn't paint any funny ones.

 

                                                WEIRD HAROLD (VO)

            I guess you just did the sad ones, huh.

            Ha, ha, ha.

 

Donald looks ticked.

 

                                                DUMB DONALD

            That's not funny.

 

ON RUDY

 

His hands are on his hips and he stomps his foot on the floor.

 

                                                RUDY

            Hay gang, it's time to get this show

            on the road today. Throwing cards is

            getting us nowhere.

 

                                                WEIRD HAROLD (VO)

            Nowhere, right! Nowhere is where your

            cards always land.

 

The gang laughs.

 

WIDE ANGLE ON GANG

 

The gang is pointing and laughing at the cards scattered over the floor.

 

  

ON RUSSELL

 

He bows slowly and raises, extending his arm toward the hat with mocking smile.

 

                                                RUSSELL

            The show is all yours, Rudy.

            Do your stuff.

 

ON RUDY AND HAT

 

He holds his arms up for silence, the laughter ends.

 

                                                RUDY

            Alright sharpshooters. I get this one

            in and we begin work.

 

                                                RUSSELL (VO)

            What a deal, we'll be here all week.

 

The gang laughs. Rudy silences them. He takes deliberate aim and pitches his card. It twists and flips slowly through the air, landing on the brim where it pauses on its edge.

 

PULL BACK TO GANG

 

No one is breathing and their eyes are bulged and mouths hung wide open.

 

ON CARD

 

The card tilts backwards, then spins around landing inside the hat.

 

ON RUDY

 

He gestures 'two points' and grins broadly at the gang.

 

WIDE ANGLE ON GANG

 

The gang is rolling and coughing on the floor in disbelief.

 

                                                RUDY (VO)

            Alright suckers. Pick em' up.

 

The gang begins putting the missed cards into the hat.

Fat Albert takes a long reach for a card, loses his balance and spins around to land on his seat. During his spin he bumps into Weird Harold, who is sent sprawling, arms out-stretched he lands PLOP on the floor. His hands are dangling above the hat so he drops the loose cards into it.

 

ON WEIRD HAROLD

 

He is smiling.

 

                                                WEIRD HAROLD

            That's enough for me. Let's get to work.

 

ON RUDY

 

With hands on hips and a serious smile.

 

                                                RUDY

            Looks good gang. Get your tools

            and let's get to the refurbishing.

            The yard sale is next week and we

            still have some unfinished work.

 

The gang begins grabbing tools and single files out the door.

 

WIDE OUTSIDE SHOT

 

The gang walks happily from the clubhouse over to their work area.

            Fat Albert and Dumb Donald stop aside a chest-of-drawers and begin to sand the paint off. Weird Harold picks up a pool cue from a large couch chair, sits down on it with the cue on his lap. He picks up a piece of sandpaper and sands over it.

            Rudy is spray painting a wagon black. Russell is spray painting a tool box black. Rudy is sitting behind a TV and with his hands deep inside. He pulls a hand out, looks over the tools on the ground, picks up a screw driver, smiles and half disappears inside the set.

 

LONG SHOT OF CLUBHOUSE AND GANG IN BACKGROUND

 

A new kid, Clyde, is standing beside the clubhouse. He looks at the gang working on their projects and then looks into the clubhouse window. He smiles, then walks toward the gang.

            A paint can is sticking out of his back pocket.

 

 

CUT TO:

 

ON BILL COSBY IN LIVE ACTION

 

He is looking OS. He scratches his head, turns to CAMERA.

 

 

                                                BILL COSBY

            Well, who might this be with a can of

            paint dangling in his paints. Maybe he   

            has come to help the gang get their       

            projects ready for the yard sale.

 

CUT TO:

 

WIDE ANGLE ON CLYDE FACING GANG

 

ON CLYDE

 

The shot is from his left side as he faces them, the paint can is in his left back pocket. He is smiling and waves at them with his right hand.

 

                                                CLYDE

            Hay guys. What's happening. Looks like

            you could use some help.

 

The gang stops their work and look up at Clyde.

 

                                                CLYDE

            I'm real good at painting. See. I even

            brought my own can.

 

ON RUSSELL

 

With eyes wide.

 

                                                RUSSELL

            What color paint do you have? Mine's

            about empty?

 

He holds his can in the air and shakes it.

 

ON CLYDE

 

Still smiling, he pulls the can from his back pocket and holds it up to his eyes then toward Russell.

 

                                                CLYDE

            Red. Bright red.

 

ON WEIRD HAROLD

 

Puzzled look.

 

                                                WEIRD HAROLD

            Say is it bright DAY GLOW red?

 

 

CLOSER FOCUS ON CLYDE

 

Clyde looks at the can shyly and shakes his head yes.

 

 

FOCUS CLEARS ON GANG

 

Bucky scratches his head.

 

                                                BUCKY

            Say do you know how to spell 'WACKO'?

 

FOCUS CLEARS ON CLYDE

 

He puts the can back in his pocket and begins to fidget his feet in the dust.

 

                                                CLYDE

            I don't know what you are talking

            about. I just want to help you

            guys. I'm new here.

 

ON FAT ALBERT

 

                                                FAT ALBERT

            Hey, hey, hey. We can use some

            extra help.

 

ON CLYDE

 

He begins to smile broadly.

 

ON RUDY

 

With a nasty look on his face.

 

                                                RUDY

            Yea, those slogans on the walls are

            new here too. What do you know

            about 'em?

 

ON CLYDE

 

He begins to fidget again.

 

                                                CLYDE

            Yea. I saw those slogans. I think they   

            are very creative.

 

ON BUCKY

 

Half enthusiastically.

 

                                                BUCKY

            Yea, I thought 'SLIP KNOTS' was

            real funny.

 

 

 

ON CLYDE

 

Nodding and smiling.

 

                                                CLYDE

            Yea, funny. And what about...

 

Clyde pauses in thought, eyes averted toward sky.

 

FOCUS CLEARS ON GANG

 

The gang looks suspiciously at Clyde and then to one another, nodding their heads at each other.

 

ON CLYDE

 

                                                CLYDE

            What about, ah, ah 'LAZY LOGS'?

            Yea 'LAZY LOGS', that's a good one.

 

ON RUDY

 

He is frowning.

 

                                                RUDY

            You seem to know a lot about slogans.

 

ON CLYDE

 

                                                CLYDE

            Yea, I'm a whiz at funny sayings.

 

CUT TO:

 

ON BILL COSBY IN LIVE ACTION

 

He is looking OS. He nods with eye brows furrowed. He turns to CAMERA.

 

                                                BILL COSBY

            Yes, I think Clyde knows a little too

            much about slogans and paint cans and

            not enough about other people's property.

 

CUT TO:

 

WIDE ANGLE ON GANG TALKING TO CLYDE

 

ON FAT ALBERT

 

Friendly, his arms are extended and he looks from left to right.

 

                                                FAT ALBERT

            Well we could use some funny stuff      

            around here, but not on our walls.

 

ON CLYDE

 

Solemn.

 

                                                CLYDE

            Sounds like you guys are blaming me.

 

 

ON WEIRD HAROLD

 

Serious face and pointing at Clyde.

 

                                                WEIRD HAROLD

            If the boot fits, then you got a pair.

 

ON CLYDE

 

With a sad, angry frown.

 

                                                CLYDE

            Hay man. I don't need this hassle.

            I came here hoping to help and you

            guys bug me. I don't need this at all.

            I don't need you guys or anybody.

 

And Clyde turns and runs past the clubhouse and disappears.

ON BILL COSBY IN LIVE ACTION

 

He is looking at the CAMERA stroking his chin and slowly nodding to himself.

 

                                                BILL COSBY

            Well well, I think Clyde hasn't got

            any friends yet and just might be

            looking to find some attention. Being

            creative will help him, but painting

            slogans on the walls won't.

 

           

                                     

WIDE ANGLE ON GANG

 

The gang is standing still, looking in the direction of the departed Clyde.

 

 

ON FAT ALBERT

 

He is shaking his head back and forth.

 

                                                FAT ALBERT

            If I was a betting man, I'd         

            make book he's the slogan painter.

 

                                                THE GANG (VO)

            Yea. He's the one. Me too. Oh yea                  

creative. Maybe. For sure the painter.

 

ON BUCKY

 

Half smiling.

 

                                                BUCKY

            'LAZY LOGS'. Now that's funny.

 

ON RUDY

 

He is frowning at Bucky.

 

 

                                                RUDY

            Bucky! There's nothing funny about

            slogans on walls. On greeting cards,     

            yea. But not on walls.

 

                                                WEIRD HAROLD (VO)

            Red DAY GLOW greeting cards, he'll

            make millions.

 

WIDE ANGLE ON GANG

 

The gang laughs and turns back to their projects. Weird Harold slides his hands over the shaft of the pool cue, he smiles at its smoothness. He grabs hold of the fat end and extends the cue, eyeing its straightness.

 

                                                DUMB DONALD (VO)

            Harold? What color are you going

            to paint it?

 

Weird Harold looks toward Donald's voice and in doing so the cue swings near Russell, who is spraying his tool box black. The cue gets a coat of black on its tip.

 

ON WEIRD HAROLD

 

                                                WEIRD HAROLD

            Donald, you don't paint pool cues, you

            varnish them, after they're smooth.

 

He turns back to the cue and runs his left-hand over the shaft.

 

                                                WEIRD HAROLD

            Now this is a super smooth stick.

 

His hand slides over the new paint and his face screws into a frown.

 

                                                WEIRD HAROLD

            Ahhhhhhhhh, yuk. What's this stuff?

 

He pulls his hand from the cue and looks at the black paint on it. He looks at the tip and then at Russell.

 

 

ON WEIRD HAROLD AND RUSSELL

 

Harold ticked; Russell amused.

 

                                                WEIRD HAROLD

            You ruined my stick. It's got paint on it.

 

                                                RUSSELL

            Black is a good color. Maybe you

            should paint it.

 

                                                DUMB DONALD (VO)

            Paint it black you rolling stone.

 

Russell laughs and Harold just frowns looking at his cue.

 

ON RUDY

 

Holding his hands over his tummy, very bemused.

 

                                                RUDY

            Hay Harold, maybe you can get that kid

            to put some funny slogans on it. Ha, ha.

 

Rudy looks toward the clubhouse and frowns.

 

FADE OUT

 

END OF ACT ONE

 

 

 

            FAT ALBERT AND THE COSBY KIDS

 

            PAINT IT BLACK

 

            ACT TWO

 

FADE IN:

 

LONG SHOT ON CLUBHOUSE

 

Clyde is just visible at the side of the clubhouse with a can of paint in his hand.

 

                                                RUDY (VO)

            Hay you kid! What are you doing?

 

Clyde looks toward the gang, then runs away.

 

WIDE ANGLE ON GANG

 

They look puzzled.

 

                                                FAT ALBERT (VO)

            Hey, hey, hey, let's go see.

 

The gang jumps up from their projects and runs toward the clubhouse.

 

WIDE ANGLE ON GANG LOOKING AT SIDE OF CLUBHOUSE

 

In bright red DAY GLOW paint is the slogan 'LAZY LOGS'.

 

                                                RUDY (VO)

            It was the kid, let's get him.

 

The gang breaks into a fast run with Rudy at the lead and Fat Albert bringing up the rear.

 

LONG SHOT OF GANG RUNNING WITH CLYDE IN THE DISTANCE

 

As they run shouts of:

 

                                                THE GANG (VO)

            Come back here. You mad painter.

            We'll get you. You fink. Hey hey hey.

 

 

CLOSE IN ON CLYDE

 

He is a short block in front of them. As he rounds the corner of a building, he stops for breath and pulls the can out of his pocket and paints 'TURTLES'. He then takes off down the alley.

 

WIDE ON GANG RUNNING AROUND CORNER

 

The gang rounds the corner and Rudy stops them beside a new slogan.

 

ON RUDY

 

Ticked.

 

                                                RUDY

            I'll bet he just did that to make

            us mad.

 

ON BUCKY

 

He is smiling some.

 

                                                BUCKY

            'TURTLES', that's funny.

 

ON FAT ALBERT

 

He pushes through the gang to read the slogan very slowly aloud.

 

                                                FAT ALBERT

            'T U R T L E S' huh. I guess that

            makes him the rabbit.

 

ON WEIRD HAROLD

 

Ticked and huffy.

 

                                                WEIRD HAROLD

            Yes and I need a new lucky charm.

 

ON RUDY

 

He glances down the alley way, eyes widen.

 

                                                RUDY

            There he is, lets go!

 

LONG SHOT ON CLYDE AT END OF ALLEY

 

The gang begins the chase again and Clyde disappears around the far corner. Russell and Bucky try to pass Rudy and they bump into each other and tumble to the street. They barely roll out of the way as Fat Albert bowls past them.

 

ON FAT ALBERT

 

His arms are churning rapidly.

 

                                                FAT ALBERT

            Hey hey hey, make way!

 

WIDE SHOT OF ALLEY NEAR ITS END

 

Albert, Harold and Donald run past the fallen trio and are going too fast to make the turn at the alley's corner. They slide, wide mouthed, into a pile against the far wall. They lay there moaning as Rudy catches up.

 

He stops and looks down at them, shakes his head, looks down the second alley and points.

 

LONG SHOT OF GANG AND SECOND ALLEY

 

At the far end Clyde is painting another slogan.

 

CLOSE IN ON CLYDE

 

He finishes the slogan, turns to the gang, laughs and runs down a third alley.

 

CAMERA ON SLOGAN: LETTERS GROWING LARGER

 

GANG ENTERS SHOT

 

The gang comes to a stop in front of the slogan.

 

                                                THE GANG (VO)

            That fink. The turkey. He'll wish

            he was a slogan. We'll put him

            on the wall. Yea Yea.

 

The gang heads off on the run after Clyde.

 

ON SLOGAN

 

It reads: 'BAM CRASH OW, NOT TURTLES, COWS'

 

WIDE ANGLE ON ALLEY LEADING ONTO A SIDEWALK

 

The gang come yelling and bursting onto the sidewalk from the alley. They run right past a beat policeman.

 

LONG SHOT OF STREET

 

Clyde is seen ducking into another alley at the end of the block and the gang runs wildly down the sidewalk after him. People on the sidewalk jump back out of their way and into one another. They tumble to the sidewalk as the gang jets past them. The gang turns into the alley as the policeman begins to pursue them.

 

LONG SHOT OF ALLEY

 

At the end of the alley, Clyde has just finished another slogan and is seen darting off to the left.

 

WIDE ANGLE OF GANG IN FRONT OF SLOGAN

 

The gang is catching their breath and looking at the new slogan.

 

 

 

LONG SHOT OF ALLEY

 

The policeman rounds the corner into the alley and sees the gang standing still.

 

WIDE ANGLE ON GANG WITH POLICEMAN STANDING BEHIND THEM

                                                           

CUT TO:

 

ON BILL COSBY IN LIVE ACTION

 

He is looking into the CAMERA, shaking his head and rolling his eyes.

 

                                                BILL COSBY

            It looks like the gang has a lot

            of explaining to do. They took

            the LAW into their own hands when

            they began chasing the kid.

            Chasing criminals is POLICE work,

            not kids' work.

 

CUT TO:

 

ON POLICEMAN AND RUSSELL

 

He grabs Russell by the collar. Very stern.

 

                                                POLICEMAN

            So I finally caught you hooligans.

 

WIDE ANGLE ON GANG AND POLICEMAN

 

The gang turns around, and stares at the policeman in disbelief.

 

ON RUDY

 

Frantic face.

 

                                                RUDY

            Officer, it's not the way it looks.

 

ON POLICEMAN

 

                                                POLICEMAN

            No boys, it's never the way it looks,

            it's worse.

 

ON RUDY

 

                                                RUDY

            But officer, we didn't do this.

 

ON RUSSELL

 

Nodding in agreement.

 

                                                RUSSELL

            That's right officer, we were chasing     

            the guy who painted all these slogans.

 

 

 

ON BUCKY

 

He is pointing up the street.

 

                                                BUCKY

            He's getting away. You've got to

            let us catch him.

 

ON POLICEMAN

 

He grins wide and then turns stern.

 

                                                POLICEMAN

            Boys that's a good story, but I caught     

            you in the act.

 

                                                FAT ALBERT (VO)

            Officer it's the truth, he is getting away.

 

                                                POLICEMAN

            Maybe some of your gang got away, but

            I got the rest of you. Let's go boys,

            down to the station.

           

CUT TO:

 

WIDE ANGLE ON GANG AROUND DESK SGT AT POLICE STATION

 

The gang is all talking at once at the desk Sgt. The beat policeman is standing behind them. The desk Sgt pounds on his desk with a gavel and the gang quiets.

 

ON DESK SGT

 

Half stern, mostly mocking.

 

                                                DESK SGT

            Alright Officer, what's this gang done

            today.

 

ON POLICEMAN

 

Seriously he glances over the gang.

 

                                                POLICEMAN

            These are the hooligans, who have been

            painting those slogans all over town.

 

ON DESK SGT

 

He shakes his head and is frowning.

 

 

 

                                                DESK SGT

            That's a serious crime officer. I know

            these boys. I don't think they would do

            anything as terrible as that.

 

WIDE ANGLE ON GANG

 

The gang is shaking their heads and talking at once.

 

                                                THE GANG (VO)

            That's right, not us. We're okay, we

            aign't mean. Not us, the kid, the kid

            did it.

 

ON DESK SGT

 

He pounds on his desk with the gavel again. The gang quiets.

 

ON POLICEMAN LOOKING AT THE GANG

 

Shaking his head, he looks at each of the gang.

 

                                                POLICEMAN

            Sgt I wouldn't bet on it.

 

The policeman pulls the can of spray paint from Russell's back pocket. And then takes the can from Rudy's hand.

 

                                                POLICEMAN

            Look Sgt, here's the evidence. Cans of

            spray paint.

 

WIDE ANGLE ON POLICEMAN GOING UP TO DESK SGT

 

The beat policeman hands the cans to the Sgt. The desk Sgt looks at both of the cans and then down at the gang.

 

ON DESK SGT

 

He looks out over the gang.

 

                                                DESK SGT

            Alright boys, what have you got

            to say for yourselves?

 

A SLOW PAN ON EACH OF THE GANG'S WORRIED FACES.

 

                                                WEIRD HAROLD

            I demand to see my lawyer, this is a

            frame up!

 

                                                BUCKY

            Officer, officer I can explain everything.

 

ON BUCKY

 

He goes up to the desk Sgt and picks up the two cans of paint. He turns and looks at the beat policeman.

 

                                                BUCKY

            Officer. What color are those slogans?"

 

ON POLICEMAN

 

Scratching his head in remembrance.

 

                                                POLICEMAN

            Well, let me think. Oh yea, they're all

            real bright red.

 

                                                WEIRD HAROLD (VO)

            DAY GLOW red.

 

 

ON BUCKY AND POLICEMAN

 

Bucky hands the cans of paint to the policeman.

 

                                                BUCKY

            Officer. What color are those?

 

ON POLICEMAN

 

He quizedly looks at each of the cans.

 

                                                POLICEMAN

            Well by thunder, they look to be black.

 

                                                BUCKY

            They are black; we were painting a wagon

            and a tool box.

 

ON POLICEMAN

 

He puts one of the cans down, picks up a piece of paper and sprays it. He changes cans and sprays the second one, it too sprays black paint.

 

                                                POLICEMAN

            Well Sgt, these are both definitely black.           Sorry boys, looks like I made a mistake.

 

ON THE DESK SGT

 

                                                DESK SGT

            Even we make mistakes, but what's this

            about some other boy you were chasing?

 

WIDE ANGLE ON GANG AND DESK SGT

 

The gang starts talking at once again and the desk Sgt pounds his gavel for silence.

 

ON DESK SGT

 

                                                DESK SGT

            One at a time, one at a time.

 

ON RUDY

 

Putting his hands to his hips, he throws his head back.

 

                                                RUDY

            I'll explain it all, right from the

            beginning.

 

Rudy leans on the Sgt's desk and begins.

 

CUT TO:

 

ON BILL COSBY IN LIVE ACTION

 

He is looking OS and smiling, he turns to the CAMERA.

 

                                                BILL COSBY

            Well that certainly was some quick thinking

            on Bucky's part. Cool too.

             Look's like the gang is in the clear

            this time, but what will happen to

            the slogan painter. I'm afraid he

            is in for big trouble, unless he

            changes his ways. Maybe the gang

            can figure a way to help him.

 

CUT TO:

 

WIDE ANGLE ON GANG AROUND DESK SGT

 

The gang is nodding their heads in agreement.

 

ON DESK SGT

 

                                                DESK SGT

            So this kid said he was new in town

            and you didn't get his name? Well

            leave it to us, it's our job. We'll

            catch him.

 

ON FAT ALBERT

 

He looks concerned.

 

                                                FAT ALBERT

            Sgt. What will happen to him when you

            do catch him? Will he have to go

            to jail?

 

ON DESK SGT

                                                DESK SGT

            Well, he will have to pay for the

            damage to the buildings, new paint

            jobs cost lots of money. And if he has a            

            previous record he may go to jail.

 

ON DUMB DONALD

 

Cringing and shaking his head.

 

                                                DUMB DONALD

            Jail, tornadoes and bears! Bad

            news, bad news.

 

WIDE ON GANG AND DESK SGT

 

The gang all smile and say goodbye to the desk Sgt, turn and leave.

 

FADE OUT:

 

END OF ACT TWO

 

 

 

            FAT ALBERT AND THE COSBY KIDS

 

            PAINT IT BLACK

 

            ACT THREE

 

FADE IN:

 

WIDE ANGLE INSIDE THE CLUBHOUSE

 

The gang is sitting around the upturned hat, pitching cards at it and discussing the slogans.

 

ON BUCKY AND HAT

 

He flips a card toward the hat, it drops to the floor and skims across and slides up under the hat, where it stays.

 

                                                BUCKY

            You know, I sort of liked the slogan

            kid at first.

 

                                                WEIRD HAROLD (VO)

            Yea, I did too.

 

ON DUMB DONALD AND HAT

 

He winds up and lets loose a baseball pitch at the hat. A thick card sails through the air upright, it stops above the hat, where five cards fall singularly into it.

 

                                                DUMB DONALD

            He sure can run fast.

 

 

 

ON RUSSELL AND HAT

 

He throws his card overhand and it dives to the floor, where it cartwheels three times and then bounces up and into the hat.

 

                                                RUSSELL

            What about the slogan on our clubhouse?

 

OUTSIDE SHOT OF CLUBHOUSE

 

Clyde is creeping up to the clubhouse and stands with his ear beside a window.

 

INSIDE ON RUDY AND HAT

 

He takes careful aim, throws and misses.

 

                                                RUDY

            When we catch him, he can paint over it.

 

ON FAT ALBERT AND HAT

 

Albert throws a card and it floats in slow motion to above the hat, where it pauses and then drops down into the hat at hyper speed.

 

                                                FAT ALBERT

            Hey hey hey he did say he wanted to

            help us.

 

ON WEIRD HAROLD AND HAT

 

He flips a card behind his back and it curves around and over Bucky's head and then downward into the hat.

 

                                                WEIRD HAROLD

            He sure will be busy with all those        

            other walls to paint too.

 

ON BUCKY AND HAT

 

He pitches his card upward, it soars to the ceiling, hits it and soars right back into Bucky's open hand.

 

                                                BUCKY

            Those slogans sure are funny, maybe

            he could get into greeting cards.

 

                                                RUDY (VO)

            Enough of this card business, we've

            still got projects to finish.

 

ON FAT ALBERT

                                                FAT ALBERT

            Hey hey hey, it's off to work we go.

            High ho, high ho.

 

The gang laughs and gets up to leave.

 

OUTSIDE SHOT OF CLUBHOUSE

 

Clyde steps carefully back from the window and looks at the slogan. He looks up in thought, jerks his head with a smile and runs away.

 

WIDE ANGLE OF GANG WITH PROJECTS

 

ON WEIRD HAROLD

 

He picks up the pool cue and looks it over from tip to stopper.

 

                                                WEIRD HAROLD

            Hay Donald, you know a black pool cue

            might be a real beaut. Russell, throw

            me the can.

 

ON RUSSELL

 

He looks up in smile and prepares to toss the paint can. Russell tosses the can just as Harold waves the pool cue to the ground. The can and cue collide. The can bounds onto the chest-of-drawers, hits on its top, spraying a black spot on Fat Albert's stomach. The can then bounds toward the TV, where it comes to a stop on its top, spraying the TV screen black.

 

                                                FAT ALBERT (VO)

            Yahhhhh, hay ah hay!

 

 

 ON BUCKY LOOKING AT THE TV SCREEN

 

Frowning.

 

                                                BUCKY

            See Harold. Not everything looks

            good in black.

 

The gang laughs.

 

WIDE SHOT OF CLUBHOUSE

 

Clyde creeps up to the clubhouse and puts a box of paints down.

 

CUT TO:

 

ON BILL COSBY IN LIVE ACTION

 

He is looking into CAMERA, smiling.

 

                                                BILL COSBY

            No more slogans for Clyde, he's going

            to surprise the gang and fix the wall.

 

CUT TO:

 

WIDE ANGLE OUTSIDE CLUBHOUSE

 

Clyde is making his final spray, turns off the paint and steps back from the wall smiling. He then goes around the corner and sees the gang at their projects.

 

ON CLYDE

 

Big jeering smile.

 

                                                CLYDE

            Hay 'LAZY LOGS', come here and

            check out your new wall.

 

CLOSE ON GANG

 

The gang looks up toward Clyde, they drop their mouths and their tools and run to the clubhouse, like fast.

 

WIDE ANGLE ON SIDE OF CLUBHOUSE WITH CLYDE

 

The gang rounds the corner and Clyde is standing with his hands pointed to the wall. The gang stops dead in their tracks.

 

                                                FAT ALBERT (VO)

            Hey hey hey, you aign't getting away.

 

ON CLYDE

 

Smiling he turns his face to the wall.

 

                                                CLYDE

            Look guys, I fixed your wall.

 

WIDE ANGLE ON WALL

 

There is now a beautiful mural of a sunset instead of the slogan.

 

                                                THE GANG (VO)

            Wild. Heavy duty man. Far out. Like

            very pretty. Dig that scene.

 

ON CLYDE

 

Hopeful expression.

 

                                                CLYDE

            I hope this makes up for the slogan.

            I just wanted to help and then I got

            mad and lost my temper.

 

 

WIDE ON THE GANG AND CLYDE

 

The gang looks thoughtfully at Clyde.

 

 

 

ON FAT ALBERT

 

                                                FAT ALBERT

            Hey kid, we're sorry too. You could

            still help us. We've got lots left

            to paint before the yard sale.

 

ON WEIRD HAROLD

 

Half smiling.

 

 

                                                WEIRD HAROLD

            Yea, you could do the yard sale signs,

            after you do the other store walls.

 

ON RUDY

 

Nodding approval.

 

                                                RUDY

            Yea, that might keep you out of jail.

 

                                                WEIRD HAROLD

            The cops are real mad. They said you  

            might have to pay for the damages.

 

ON RUSSELL

 

Glancing at the sunset, thoughtful, then back to Clyde.

 

                                                RUSSELL

            Could you do sunsets on all those other

            slogan walls?

 

ON CLYDE

 

Smiling.

 

                                                CLYDE

            Sure, just as pretty too. Do you

            think that would keep me out of jail?

 

ON FAT ALBERT

 

Scratching his head, thoughtful and then grinning.

 

                                                FAT ALBERT

            Well that sure would help. We could

            as the desk Sgt.

 

  

ON CLYDE

 

Hopeful and anxious.

 

                                                CLYDE

            Let's go. I don't want to be in

            anymore trouble. I like it here.

 

WIDE ANGLE ON GANG

 

Fat Albert puts his arm around Clyde's shoulder and the gang leaves.

 

CUT TO:

 

ON BILL COSBY IN LIVE ACTION

 

He is looking OS. He turns to the CAMERA with an appreciative nod.

 

                                                BILL COSBY

            That Clyde sure paints a pretty sunset.

            Now with a little luck and some friendly

            co-operation from the store owners, Clyde

            just might get himself out of the

            skillet and into helping the gang.

            And being a part of the gang is what     

            started all of Clyde's trouble in the                      

            first place. That and a short temper and            

            the wrong notion of how to impress people.

 

CUT TO:

 

WIDE ON DESK SGT AND GANG INSIDE POLICE STATION

 

The gang is all talking at once. The Sgt pounds his gavel on the desk and they quiet.

 

ON DESK SGT

 

                                                DESK SGT

            So is this the slogan painter.

 

The Sgt is pointing at Clyde.

 

ON RUDY

 

He saunters up to the desk.

 

                                                RUDY

            Sgt I can explain everything.

            And with your help, we can clean

            up all those slogans.

 

CUT TO:

 

ON BILL COSBY IN LIVE ACTION

 

He takes a book from the corner of his desk, opens it and looks to CAMERA.

                                               

                                                BILL COSBY

            I think that Rudy has a promising

            career in the LAW. He sure has

            the glib of an attorney. And I'd bet

            a dime to a dollar, all those store

            owners agree to having their walls        

            repainted with a nice sunset.

 

CUT TO:

 

WIDE SHOT ON DESK SGT AND GANG

 

The Sgt is just saying goodbye on the telephone. He places it back in its cradle.

 

ON DESK SGT

 

Smiling.

 

                                                DESK SGT

            Well boys, that's the last store owner.

            They've all agreed to give you a chance

            to clean up those slogans.

 

ON CLYDE

 

Very happy.

 

                                                CLYDE

            Thanks Sgt. I'll make them all beauts.

 

ON WEIRD HAROLD

 

With sheepish grin

 

                                                WEIRD HAROLD

            And then all those yard sale signs.

 

ON CLYDE

 

Very happy.

 

                                                CLYDE

            With funny slogans, right.

 

The gang laughs.

 

CUT TO:

 

ON BILL COSBY IN LIVE ACTION

 

He is knee slapping, looking OS. He turns to CAMERA.

 

                                                BILL COSBY

            Well yard sale signs aren't greeting

            cards, but its a good place to start.

 

FADE OUT:                                                   ### the end. October 1983

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