EASTER_BUNNY      81pages

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THE BUNNY MOVIE

                       

 

 

by

 

glenn H. whittaker, jr.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

glenn H. whittaker, jr.

P.O. Box 188

Glen Carbon, IL  62934

618-692-9347

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1. INT. OFFICE OF MR. CAGE

  

Among the lavish furnishings relaxed upon a couch lies multi-billionaire Mr. Cage recanting a childhood memory to his German psychiatrist. 

 

Dr. Frazzor sits opposite with a small tape recorder on his lap and a note pad and pencil in hand.

         

MR. CAGE

Win. Win. Winning. Winner. To be successful you have to be a winner. He said that every morning at breakfast.

 

DR. FRAZZOR

              Who said that to you?

 

MR. CAGE

My father.  He handed me the egg basket and said, Be a winner today.

 (closes eyes, takes a deep breath)

 

FLASHBACK

 

2. EXT. BACKYARD OF LARGE ESTATE - MORNING

  

A distinguished gentleman wearing a three piece suit and top hat hands a small boy an Easter basket and pushes him toward a group of children scrabbling to grab eggs from the lawn.       

 

DISTINGUISHED GENTLEMAN

              Be a winner today.

 

The young Mr. Cage runs up to many children grabbing the eggs off the ground before they do. 

 

He bumps into a girl and her basket falls to the ground. He quickly puts her eggs into his basket. His basket full, he turns and runs to the patio finish line. 

 

A large white rabbit jumps off the lap of a watching parent. The rabbit hops in between the legs of young Mr. Cage causing him to fall. He lands on top of his basket and the eggs break. He gets up unhurt, but his suit is heavily soiled.

 

All the watching parents begin roaring with laughter. 

 

END FLASHBACK

 

 

3. INT. OFFICE OF MR. CAGE

 

MR. CAGE

(sits up)

God, how I hate white rabbits. God, how I hate eggs.

 

DR. FRAZZOR

(quick notes on pad)

The neurosis you have of white rabbits and eggs definitely stems from your childhood. The trauma caused by your father’s Easter Egg Hunts will continue to haunt you until you find a way to put the past behind you.

 

MR. CAGE

              And how do I do that, doctor?

 

DR. FRAZZOR

I find humor to be a marvelous cure. You should try watching that amusing film ‘Alice in Wonderland’.

 

MR. CAGE

Humor, umm, maybe so.  I think I’ve got a copy of that film in my library. I’ll give it a try over lunch. Thanks.

(putting his shoes back on)

 

DR. FRAZZOR

I see that our time is up for today.

 

The doctor offs the tape recorder and slips it into the briefcase at his feet.  The doctor walks to the office door while Mr. Cage walks to the chair behind his desk.

     

DR. FRAZZOR

(faces Mr. Cage)

Same time next week Mr. Cage?

 

MR. CAGE

I’ll have Miss Strudwic contact you, difficult to say what next week will look like.  Good day to you Dr. Frazzor.

                   (waving him to leave)

 

   The doctor gone, Mr. Cage walks to a wall door access panel. He punches in a coded number.  The door opens into his bedroom.

 

4. INT. BEDROOM OF MR. CAGE

 

Mr. Cage walks to the wet-bar and pours himself a small glass of whiskey and soda water.

 

At a small desk aside a large television, Mr. Cage ons a computer screen and enters the video library menu. Within seconds the television frizzes on and the screen reads, Ready for viewing, 'Alice in Wonderland'.

 

He reclines in the television viewing chair, exchanging   the glass for the VCR remote control on a small table.

 

The movie begins.

 

After sipping down half of the drink, Mr. Cage relaxes back and falls asleep.

 

5. INT. SECURITY CAMERA CONTROL ROOM

 

FADE IN

 

A small room illuminated only by the light of half a dozen televisions monitoring Mr. Cage's personal suites and the adjoining office of his secretary.

 

A monitor screen shows Mr. Cage falling asleep.

 

CAREY (O.S.)

So dear ol' half brother Mr.Cage is still hung up on the Easter Bunny. And his psychiatrist has him watching that psychedelic Alice movie.

 

FRAN (O.S.)

Look at that. I think he has fallen asleep. How could he? It's such a, a charming movie.

 

CAREY (O.S.)

That gives me an idea. I've been waiting for just the right moment to make my move. And this looks perfect.

 

FRAN (O.S.)

What do you mean? Your move?

 

CAREY (O.S.)

Why watch an acid trip movie, when you can live one? And I've got just what he needs for that. Let's go pay a visit on dear ol' half brother Mr. Cage while he naps.

 

A white hand holding a dark brown medicine bottle gradually appears from the bottom of the screen, blocking the monitor.

 

FRAN (O.S.)

Where did you get that? I thought you were out.

 

CAREY (O.S.)

(maniacal laughter)

Te he he he he he he, haw, hawr.  From one of the lab assistants. He made it for me as a personal favor.

 

FRAN (O.S.)

His room is monitored; we'll get caught.

 

CAREY (O.S.)

Silly girl, you stand in-between me and the camera. We'll check the tape when we're done. If anything looks suspicious, I'll just edit it out.

 

FRAN (O.S.)

How can you do that?

 

CAREY (O.S.)

You ditsy blonde. I am the head of home office security. Boring job. But it has some advantages. Let's go freshen up his drink. Te he he

 

FADE OUT

 

6. INT. BEDROOM OF MR. CAGE

 

View of the back of the chair where Mr. Cage is napping.

 

Background sounds from the television movie.

 

The white hand holding the brown medicine bottle reaches slowly forward toward the half-full whiskey glass. Two drops, then two more drops plop into the whiskey.

 

The brown bottle withdraws. Carey and Fran leave office.

 

The TV screen shows the white rabbit in the woods.

 

 

WHITE RABBIT

(sing song)

I'm late, I'm late for a very important date. 

 

Mr. Cage wakes up, shakes his head, rubs his eyes with his left hand, then sips down more of the drugged whiskey with his right hand.

 

The TV screen is showing the white rabbit. The white rabbit begins to grow and grow and 'comes out of the screen' toward Mr. Cage.

 

MR. CAGE

(panic screams)

Ahhhhhhhhhhh, ahhhhhhhhhh, ahhh.

 

Mr. Cage rolls out of the chair and quick crawls behind it. He peers over the back of the chair and is greeted by the grinning white rabbit.

 

WHITE RABBIT

(sing song)

No time to wait. I’m late, I’m late. I’m late.

 

Mr. Cage runs to the golf club bag in the corner and extracts an iron. Twisting around he swings the club at the phantom white rabbit. The rabbit disappears.

 

Mr. Cage cautiously looks about the room. Suddenly smaller versions of the white rabbit begin to loom up from the white couch, chairs and decorative pillows.

 

He charges forward swinging and clubbing the furniture, knocking loose the white cotton stuffing.

 

He careens into a small table, falling to the floor.  A bowl of sliced peaches in heavy syrup tips over and spills over his head. He rolls across the floor covering his face with loose cotton stuffing.

 

Mr. Cage stands up facing a tall mirror.

 

MR. CAGE

(fearful, pointing)

Ahhhh. The Easter Bunny. The Easter Bunny. I've got to get rid of this damn Easter Bunny!

 

 

 

 

 

7. INT. BATHROOM OF MR. CAGE

 

Mr. Cage hurries into the shower, ons the water and washes the sticky mess off his clothes. Dripping wet he exits into his den.

 

8. INT. DEN OF MR. CAGE

 

He warms himself before the fireplace flames.

 

MR. CAGE

(muttering, then speaking)

Damn Easter Bunny. Got to get  rid of it. The Easter Bunny delivers Easter eggs. No eggs, no bunny. I've got to get rid of the eggs. All the eggs? Birds? Turtles? Alligators? Fish? No no. Get a grip on yourself man. Just chicken eggs become Easter eggs. Whew! All the eggs, that would have been impossible. Now that that's settled, down to business.

 

He goes to a large desk, extracting a Plan Pad. Writes very fast. Gets exuberant then frustrated, flailing his arms and pushing his fingers through his thick dark hair. Finally he sits immobile.

 

MR. CAGE

Urreeekaaa!

 

More fast writing. Suddenly he stands.

 

MR. CAGE

(holding pad close to face)

It's done.

 

The sound of heavy footsteps catches Mr. Cage's ear. He twists around to see his half brother, Carey and fiancée, Fran, looking at him.

 

CAREY

(grinning)

What's done dear brother?

 

MR. CAGE

The plan, my plan is done.

 

CAREY

What plan is that dear brother?

 

MR. CAGE

(pad to his chest)

My plan, it's my plan. None of your business. Get out of my den. Both of you. Now!

(hand gesturing to leave)

    

Carey and Fran turn to leave.

    

MR. CAGE

(continuing)

Wait. Wait a second. Tell me what today's date is.

 

CAREY

(sly grin)

Today is Ground Hog Day, February the 2nd. Does that give you enough time for your plan?

 

MR. CAGE

(quick look at pad)

Yes. Yes it does. Not that it matters to you two. Now get out. Immediately.

(hand gesturing to leave)

 

Carey and Fran leave, giggling as impish teenagers. 

 

 

9. INT. HALLWAY

 

FRAN

What do you think he is up to?

 

 

 

CAREY

LSD is a funny thing, hits people differently. I've really no idea. But I hope it gets him into trouble. Big trouble, the kind that leads to jail.

 

FRAN

Jail? Do you really think he'd jeopardize his position and do something illegal?

 

CAREY

(wringing hands, sly grin)

Hope so. I don't want to wait until he dies to get my hands on the corporation. We'll keep an eye on him and when the time is right we'll inform the Board of Directors.

 

FRAN

(approving nod)

And the law.

    

10. INT. OFFICE OF MR. CAGE

 

Mr. Cage repositions a chair to the left front of his desk.  He sits behind his desk, eye balling the view of the chair. 

 

He ons the large, wall tele-viewer. Punches button for his secretary.

 

The tele-viewer shows attractive red head at her desk.

 

MISS STRUDWIC

(smiling)

Good day Mr. Cage. How may I help you?

 

MR. CAGE (O.S.)

Miss Strudwic. Would you please bring your pad in for some, dictation?

 

MISS STRUDWIC

(flutters eye lashes)

My pleasure sir. Be just a moment.

 

As the tele-viewer fades, Miss Strudwic is undoing her top two blouse buttons.

 

Mr. Cage sits back, takes a deep breath, slowly exhales.

 

The office door opens and Miss Strudwic struts across the room to the dictating chair.

 

She exaggerates sitting, exposes her thigh, glances to see him watching.

 

Mr. Cage quick looks back to his Plan Pad on the desk, then back to her thigh.

 

MISS STRUDWIC

I’m ready sir.

 

MR. CAGE

(averting his eyes)

The company is going to expand into poultry. I want detailed research of all the poultry feed providers. I want a list of every USA company.

(makes a note on pad)

And in Europe, Asia,  South America. I want a detailed break down of the market share each manufacture has.

 

MISS STRUDWIC

Got it.  Anything else sir?

 

MR. CAGE

Tell the research department I want it today. Drop everything else. Today, I want it today. Got it!

(eyes back to her thighs)

 

MISS STRUDWIC

(reading from notes)

Corporate research department  a thorough report of the poultry feed manufactures.  Complete breakdown of their market share by the end of the day. Anything else sir?

(smiles at him)

 

MR. CAGE

(averts eyes)

That's it. You've got it. Very good, now go.

(hand gesturing to leave)

 

Licks his lips to the sway of her hips as she retreats to the office door. 

 

Mr. Cage takes a deep breath, slow exhales.  Then fingers through the Rolodex cards. Holding one still he punches in a number on the tele-viewer.

 

Middle-aged male in white lab coat twisting mustache appears on tele-viewer.

 

DR. HOPPKISS

Lab. Dr. Hoppkiss here. How can I be of assistance to you today Mr. Cage?

 

MR. CAGE (O.S.)

Dr. Hoppkiss, I’m beginning a new project today. I need your best, your brightest genetic biologist in my office within the hour. Do you follow?

 

DR. HOPPKISS

(nods)

Yes Mr. Cage. I understand. I've got just the man for you. Billy Toge. I'll send him right over.

 

MR. CAGE (O.S.)

Very good.

 

The tele-viewer fads to black.

 

Mr. Cage notes in his Plan Pad. Adjusts a small alarm clock.  Puts the Plan Pad on his chest. Arms over the pad, he closes his eyes and nods off to sleep.

 

DREAM

 

11. EXT. LAWN OF CAGE ESTATE - MORNING

 

Small children running about the lawn picking up Easter eggs then throwing them at young Mr. Cage.  He runs away. The children turn into small white rabbits that grow to the size of the adults on the patio.

 

DISSOLVE

 

12. INT. BEDROOM OF MR. CAGE

 

Mr. Cage is looking at the tall mirror.  His face gradually turns into a large white rabbit. He smashes the mirror.

 

END DREAM

 

13. INT. OFFICE OF MR. CAGE

 

The tele-viewer buzz startles Mr. Cage's eyes open. He reaches forward to the on button.

 

As the tele-viewer picture clears Miss Strudwic finishes applying her lipstick.

 

MR. CAGE (O.S.)

Yes Miss Strudwic?

 

MISS STRUDWIC

You said to buzz you when the manufactures' information came in. All the data is assembled. Do you want it now?

 

 

MR. CAGE (O.S.)

Now? Yes now. Very good. Bring it to me quickly.

 

The tele-viewer fads to black.

 

The office door opens. Miss Strudwic slowly struts to the front of his desk.

 

She extends the folder but keeps her fingers closed on it even after he takes it.  His eyes question hers.

 

MISS STRUDWIC

(seductive smile)

            Will there be anything else sir?

    

MR. CAGE

(tugs folder loose)

That will be all for now. Thank you Miss Strudwic.

(hand gesturing to leave)

 

Again his focus is upon her swaying hips. With the door closed he sighs deeply.

 

He opens the folder and reads.

 

MR. CAGE

(smiling)

Yes. Yes. Very Good. This I can do. Four in USA. Two in Europe. Two in South America. Two in Asia.

 

Mr. Cage ons the tele-viewer.

 

As the tele-viewer picture clears Miss Strudwic adjusts a bra strap.

 

 

MISS STRUDWIC

(girlish)

Is there something else I can do for you sir?

 

 

MR. CAGE (O.S.)

Miss Strudwic the information is superb.

 

MISS STRUDWIC

(flutters eye lashes)

Thank you sir.  I do my best work for you.

 

MR. CAGE (O.S.)

Please focus Miss Strudwic.  This is very important. Contact Carl Higgins at the Corporate Brokerage office and instruct him to buy all of the outstanding stock in each of those ten companies.

 

MISS STRUDWIC

(notes on pad)

Yes sir.  Carl Higgins. Buy all outstanding stock in those ten companies. Effective what day, sir?

 

Tele-viewer picture switches to show Mr. Cage’s stern face and hand gestures for action.

 

MR. CAGE

Today. Immediately. No matter where the market is. Price is no object. Understand?

 

MISS STRUDWIC (O.S.)

Yes sir. I understand. You want to purchase all the outstanding stock in these ten companies . . .

 

FADE OUT

 

14. INT. SECURITY CAMERA CONTROL ROOM

 

FADE IN

 

Carey, holding a phone receiver, punches in a speed dial number.

 

 

CAREY

Rocko. This is Carey Cage. I want you to immediately liquidate 90% of my portfolio. Buy as much stock as you can in any of these ten companies. Got a pencil handy?

 

He then plays a tape recording of Miss Strudwic listing the ten company names.

 

MISS STRUDWIC (O.S.)

Ralston Purina, Belly Full, Livestock Feed, Monsanto, Euro Feed, Britain's Best, Brazil Feed, South American Stock and Feed, Asian Livestock Feed, Taiwan Tongue.

 

CAREY

(continuing)

Did you get those names? Good. Call me at my private number when you're done.

 

15. INT. OFFICE OF MR. CAGE

 

Mr. Cage writing in his Plan Pad.

 

MR. CAGE

How do you spell that Taiwan Tongue? Oh. I've got it right. Very good Miss Strudwic. Have Higgins contact you when he is done.

 

MISS STRUDWIC (O.S.)

Higgins contacts me when done.  Anything else sir?

 

 

 

 

MR. CAGE

The next thing I want you to do is to contact the manager in Corporate Acquisitions.

(looks at tele-viewer)

 

Tele-viewer picture shows Miss Strudwic leaning forward, showing cleavage, finger flipping through a Rolodex.

 

MISS STRUDWIC

Jonathon Stirk is the manager of Corporate Acquisitions.

 

MR. CAGE (O.S.)

(softly)

Oh my, oh my.

 

MISS STRUDWIC

(looks up)

Excuse me sir. What did you say?

 

MR. CAGE (O.S.)

Tell Jonathon to determine the cost of buying just the poultry feed departments of those ten companies. Then have him make a 10% increase offer to the Board of Directors at each company.

 

MISS STRUDWIC

You said a 10% increase? That much? Are you sure?

 

Tele-viewer switches back to stern faced Mr. Cage fingering through his notes.

 

MR. CAGE

No. Not 10% but a 20% increase over their selling price. That's 20% if and only if they agree to sell within the next two weeks. Understand?

 

MISS STRUDWIC (O.S.)

Corporate Acquisitions to buy just the poultry feed departments of the ten companies. Offering them a 20% increase over their selling price if agree to sell within the next two weeks.

 

MR. CAGE

              Yes. A 20% increase over the current projected purchase price. Understand?

 

 MISS STRUDWIC (O.S.)

Yes sir. 20% over projected purchase price if within the next two weeks. Anything else sir?

 

MR. CAGE

That's all for now.

 

16. INT. SECURITY CAMERA CONTROL ROOM

 

       Fran enters. She joins Carey on the couch opposite           the monitoring screens.

 

One screen shows Miss Strudwic at her desk. Another screen shows Mr. Cage at his desk. Their conversation is about the 20% increase over purchase price.

 

FRAN

(frowns)

               This is sort of boring. Just more dull business stuff.

 

CAREY

(twirls mustache)

Maybe not as boring as you'd think. Offering 20% over the normal purchase price of a company is not normal. I'm sure that LSD still has him over the edge. I'm sure the Corporate  Board  would not

CAREY

(cont)

condone that type of purchase. Especially for chicken feed companies. And what do you think he's going to do with that genetic biologist?

 

FRAN

(eyes widening)

Make bigger eggs?

    

17. INT. OFFICE OF MR. CAGE

 

Mr. Cage writing in his Plan Pad.  The tele-viewer buzzes. He ons the screen.

 

As the tele-viewer picture clears Miss Strudwic is licking her lips.

 

MR. CAGE (O.S.)

Yes Miss Strudwic, what is it?

 

MISS STRUDWIC

There’s a Mr. Billy Toge here. Says he was told to report directly to you. Should I send him in?

 

MR. CAGE (O.S.)

By all means. Thank you Miss Strudwic.

 

As the tele-viewer fads to black the office door opens slowly.

 

Billy Toge gradually appears. His face displays a twinge of discomfort with each step. His right foot scrapes the floor as he pulls it forward with his right hand.

 

Miss Strudwic closes the door after Toge clears the opening.

When Billy Toge finally reaches the front of the desk,      Mr. Cage stands and gestures him to sit.

MR. CAGE

You're the genetic biologist from the lab?

 

BILLY TOGE

Yes. I got here as fast as I could.

 

MR. CAGE

Your limp? Permanent? Painful?

 

BILLY TOGE

(grimaces)

Yes a motorcycle accident last year. The insurance policy wouldn't pay for the necessary repairs. I couldn't afford a lawyer. So I move a little slower now. But it doesn't affect my work in the lab. In fact, I devote more time and energy to my work now.

 

MR. CAGE

(sympathetically)

Could your injuries still be, ahh, repaired?

 

BILLY TOGE

(rubbing his leg)

Maybe. I think so. I've been doing some research at the cellular level in my free time. But I really haven't the time or money it's going to take.

 

Mr. Cage waves his Plan Pad.

 

 

 

 

MR. CAGE

I think we can help each other. I've got the money and the researchers you'll need.

 

BILLY TOGE

(leans forward)

What would I have to do in return?

 

MR. CAGE

I need a new genetic modifying drug for poultry feed. Within two weeks. This is a secret plan. Very secret.

 

BILLY TOGE

I’m very good at keeping secrets.

 

MR. CAGE

Only you and I will ever know of it. I'll give you one million dollars tax free to begin immediate work. And another million more if you produce a drug within two weeks that works. And you must remain silent of this deal for the rest of your life.

 

BILLY TOGE

(eyebrow raised)

Two million dollars. I'd be a fool not to agree. But how do I know I can trust you?

 

MR. CAGE

I'll put the money in a Swiss account for you. Only you and the bank will know your bank account number.

 

 

 

BILLY TOGE

(nodding approval)

How do I know you won't have me killed afterwards?

 

MR. CAGE

(scratches head)

Well to be honest, you won't. What I need is the new drug. I don't need you dead.

 

BILLY TOGE

That makes sense.

 

MR. CAGE

I might even need your services in the future. Besides we all have to die someday. And with the money in your Swiss account at least you'll be leaving your loved ones a very sizeable inheritance.

 

BILLY TOGE

What you say has a ring of truth to it. I accept. What is this new drug suppose to do?

 

MR. CAGE

Well what it has to do, is why it's a secret and why you'll be getting such a large bonus. Will you agree to these terms no matter what the drug is suppose to do? Remember I will also have your injuries repaired.

 

BILLY TOGE

(touching his leg)

I wasn't sure I wanted to live this way. Didn't think I could endure the pain. Thought it would go away, it hasn't. To  be honest I still

TOGE

(cont)

don't know how long I can stand it. I think it can be repaired at the cellular level, especially with your research staff helping. But there are even some things I won't do. You understand that?

 

MR. CAGE

What I want, need this drug to do, isn't horrible. In fact it's only to have a temporary affect.

 

BILLY TOGE

A temporary affect?

 

MR. CAGE

It won't have any real permanent damage. Does that sound like something you could do?

 

BILLY TOGE

(strokes his chin)

Only a temporary affect? Well I could agree to something like that.

 

MR. CAGE

Do you agree to my terms?

 

BILLY TOGE

(rubbing his leg)

Yes. What am I to make?

 

MR. CAGE

A modification to chicken feed that will stop all laying hens from laying any eggs for two months.

 

 

 

BILLY TOGE

(slightly incredulous)

No eggs for two months. And then the hens go back to laying eggs?

 

MR. CAGE

That's the assignment. Can you do it?

 

BILLY TOGE

(strokes chin)

Well maybe. Probably. Actually this doesn't sound that difficult now that I think on it. Still it is a challenge. No eggs for two months. Huh? Can I ask why?

 

MR. CAGE

(Plan Pad to chest)

You can ask, but you won't hear an answer. It's company business, do you follow?

 

BILLY TOGE

I follow. A million cash in a Swiss account to start and your staff will repair my leg?

 

MR. CAGE

If your leg can be repaired, my medical staff will fix you right up.

 

BILLY TOGE

(extends right hand)

It's a deal.

 

Mr. Cage extends his left hand, shaking Toge’s right hand.

 

  

Mr. Cage flips through his Rolodex, finds a card, then  dials the number.

 

Dr. Hoppkiss wearing his white lab coat appears on the tele-viewer.

 

MR. CAGE (O.S.)

Good to see you again doctor.

 

DR. HOPPKISS

Yes sir. How may I help?

 

MR. CAGE (O.S.)

Dr. Hoppkiss. I have just given Billy Toge a special assignment. A secret, private assignment for the company. I want you to give him a private laboratory room and all the equipment and materials he may require. Do you understand?

 

DR. HOPPKISS

(notes on pad)

Yes sir. We have an empty room that I am sure will fill his needs.  I’ll get right to it.

 

MR. CAGE (O.S.)

Very good. Thank you for your cooperation in this matter.

 

Mr. Cage pushes a tele-viewer button. Dr. Hoppkiss fads and Miss Strudwic appears pencil and pad in hand.

 

MR. CAGE (O.S.)

Miss Strudwic. Contact the company doctor, I think his name is Felix. Tell him that Mr. Billy Toge from research is on his way. Spare no expense in repairing his injured leg.

 

MISS STRUDWIC

Yes sir. Dr. Felix to fix Billy Toge's leg. Spare no expense. Immediately sir?

 

MR. CAGE (O.S.)

Exactly.

 

Mr. Cage offs the tele-viewer then faces Toge.

 

MR. CAGE

The company doctor is waiting for you. Do you know where his office is?

 

BILLY TOGE

(rubbing his leg)

Yes, I've been there before.

 

MR. CAGE

You'll have my feed additive within two weeks?

 

BILLY TOGE

(hesitant)

Within two weeks, yes. But how will I know if the drug only stops them laying for just two months if I have to turn in the research within two weeks?

 

MR. CAGE

Well I don't know. That's your job. But the bottom line is, the new feed drug will definitely stop the hens from laying eggs immediately and for at least two months.

 

BILLY TOGE

(frustrated)

Okay. But what if they don't start laying eggs again. Ever again?

 

MR. CAGE

(agitated)

Well then the farmers will just have to get new laying hens.

 

BILLY TOGE

But how would they do that?

 

MR. CAGE

I don't know. Don't care. That's what roosters are for. Don't the farmers always have a new batch of baby chicks growing to replace the old hens?

 

BILLY TOGE

Yea, I think that's right.

 

MR. CAGE

So no need to worry about the chicken population.

 

Mr. Cage stands, walks around the desk, then points at Toge’s right leg,

 

MR. CAGE

(continuing)

You want your leg fixed and the million or what?

 

BILLY TOGE

Yea. I guess that's right about the new batch of baby chicks. I'll do it.

 

MR. CAGE

Then go. Now. See the doctor first. I want the new drug in my hands by noon of the 14th.

 

Mr. Cage points to the door and gestures him to leave.

 

BILLY TOGE

(gets up slowly)

Fine, no eggs for two months, got it.

 

Toge drags his right leg to the office door. At the door he turns and faces Mr. Cage.

 

 

BILLY TOGE

What about opening my Swiss account?

 

MR. CAGE

(notes in Plan Pad)

Come back tomorrow at 6pm. Well have supper and discuss your research plan and set up your Swiss account.

 

FADE OUT.

 

18. INT. SECURITY CAMERA CONTROL ROOM

 

Monitor shows Mr. Cage at his desk.  Carey and Fran watching monitor.  Carey slaps his knee.

 

CAREY

(laughs)

Ha ha ha ha te he he he he.

 

FRAN

Can he do that? That's got to be illegal. No eggs for two months. What am I going to do for breakfast?

 

CAREY

(faces Fran)

Breakfast? Breakfast? Te he he he he haw! What about the stock market? I could make a mint if they pull this off. Then I'll contact the Board of Directors and have his job.

 

FRAN

I'm sure what they're planning is illegal. We should contact the law. They'll put them in jail.

 

 

 

CAREY

(laughs)

Te he he he he haw. He's getting rid of the eggs so there won't be any Easter Bunny egg hunts. He has totally freaked. Alice and the white rabbit and the LSD flipped him out. And we've got to keep him that way. More acid for brother. Te he he he.

 

19. INT. OFFICE OF MR. CAGE

 

Mr. Cage napping in his desk chair. The desk alarm clock rings, jerking him awake. While reaching for the off button, his right hand slips on the Plan Pad. He slides off the side of the desk onto the floor. He stands up and rubs his elbow.

 

MR. CAGE

(grimacing)

Damn it.  That hurts. I need a drink.

 

He leaves the office and goes to his bedroom.

 

20. INT. BEDROOM OF MR. CAGE

 

He walks over the pillow cotton pieces to sit in his TV viewing chair.

 

He ons the VCR with the remote control. As it rewinds he sips the whiskey.

 

When Alice in Wonderland begins again, the LSD in his drink begins to affect him.

 

MR. CAGE

(restless)

Big white talking rabbit worried about the time. Time, never enough time. That's for sure. Why would a rabbit care about time? If I were a rabbit time would be the last

MR. CAGE

(cont)

thing on my mind, wouldn't it? Ummmm? I wonder what's it like to be a rabbit?

 

Mr. Cage looks at the pieces of pillow cotton strewn about the room.

 

He gets up, goes to a large desk, opens a drawer and extracts a large bottle of wood glue.

 

MR. CAGE

This should work.

 

He goes to his clothes closet, and takes out a gray double-breasted business suit.

 

He lays the coat over the back of the TV chair.

 

He picks up pillow cotton pieces and puts them on the chair until the seat is full,

 

He pours glue on the suit coat, then carefully spreads the cotton onto the glue. Coat done, he decorates the pants.

 

Satisfied with his handy work, he offs his day suit and ons the ‘bunny suit’. Then checks his reflection in the full-length dressing mirror.

 

MR. CAGE

(frowning)

No ears. Ummm? What to do? I have to have long floppy ears. I just have to.

 

He goes to the dresser, opens drawers throwing garments to the floor.

 

He holds up a pair of white socks, putting one sock aside each ear.

 

MR. CAGE

Too floppy. Ahhhh, I need to stick them onto a hat.

 

He hurries to the closet, extracting a top hat and a wire coat hanger.

 

Bends, twists, and wraps the wire into the socks and about the hat. He pours glue, then spreads the pillow cotton all over the hat.   Returns to the mirror.

 

MR. CAGE

(places hat on head)

Yes. Now there's a fine looking white rabbit. Now just what do rabbits do?

 

He squats, taking the on-all-fours position, then hops and hops about the floor. Then he hops onto the TV chair seat and watches Alice for awhile.

He turns around in the chair and hops onto the back of it. The chair falls over and he bumps his head on the hardwood floor, knocking himself out.

 

21. INT. SECURITY CAMERA CONTROL ROOM

 

Carey and Fran are laughing at Mr. Cage on the monitor in his cotton bunny sit hopping on the chair. After he falls over to the floor, they roar in laughter.

 

FRAN

(subsides)

Stop it. Stop it. Quiet. He's still on the floor. He may be dead.

 

CAGE

(leans close to screen)

Dead? Ummm? Well dead would be alright too. Let's go check on him.

 

Carey and Fran hurry down hallway to Mr. Cage’s hallway bedroom door.

 

22. INT. HALLWAY DOOR OF MR. CAGE

 

     Carey slides a security card into a wall panel.

 

 

CAREY

Medical emergency. Carey Cage.

 

     The door pops open,

 

CAREY

(softly)

Brother dear, are you alright?

 

Mr. Cage lays immobile.

 

Fran hurries to Mr. Cage and checks his neck pulse.

 

FRAN

Still alive.

 

CAREY

(walks over to Fran)

Drunk. Knocked himself out. He won't need any more of this.

 

Using a handkerchief, he takes the drugged whiskey glass from the table. Pitches the remains into the wet bar sink, replaces the empty glass back on the table.

 

Carey grabs Fran's hand.

 

CAREY

Let's go. Let him sleep it off.

 

They leave the suite.

 

FADE OUT

 

23. INT. BEDROOM OF MR. CAGE     

 

FADE IN

 

The TV pre-set alarm begins the day's network business news at 6:30am, awakening Mr. Cage.

He takes himself to the bathroom rubbing his eyes.

 

24. INT. BATHROOM OF MR. CAGE

 

He lifts the stool lid, pees. Goes to the basin, runs cold water, splashing his face awake. Eyes dry, he notices the cotton pasted to his suit coat.

 

MR. CAGE

(shrieks)

 Rabbit, white rabbit!

 

He throws off his clothes. Takes a shower. Then goes to his clothes closet and dresses for his workday.

 

25. INT. DEN OF MR. CAGE

 

At 7:45am, Mr. Cage is sitting at the small dining table in his den.

 

Miss Strudwic brings in his breakfast, setting the dishes about the table.

 

MISS STRUDWIC

(smiling)

Did you sleep well?

 

MR. CAGE

(returns smile)

Ahh. Yes. Yes I did. Thank you for asking.

 

     Miss Strudwic pours coffee into his cup.

 

MISS STRUDWIC

Could there be anything else I could do for you this morning?

 

MR. CAGE

(averts his eyes)

Ahh, yes. Have house keeping clean up the mess in my bedroom. And replace the damaged furniture,

 

MISS STRUDWIC

Sir, what happened? Are you alright?

 

MR. CAGE

I'm fine. Just got a little carried away with a, a, an art project I was experimenting with. Just have them clean it up and replace the furniture.

(gestures her to leave)

    

MISS STRUDWIC

Yes sir. Very good sir, I'll leave you to your breakfast and have house cleaning take care of it.

 

FADE OUT

 

26. INT. LABORATORY OF BILLY TOGE

 

Tables of lab equipment with background of chickens in wire pens.

 

A very large calendar with the dates of February 3,4, 5, 6, circled in black ink.  The dates of 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 are crossed out with red ink.

 

Billy Toge checks the chicken pens.  They are again empty of eggs. 

 

He circles the calendar number 12 with red ink.

 

BILLY TOGE

(eyes wide, exclaims)

Eureka, it works! It works. Six days straight. No eggs.

 

Toge punches in a tele-viewer number and Miss Strudwic soon appears on his wall screen.

 

MISS STRUDWIC

(smiling)

Mr. Cage’s office. How may I help you today Mr. Toge.

 

BILLY TOGE (O.S.)

Quick, let me speak with him.

 

MISS STRUDWIC

(formal)

Sir.  Do you want to speak with Mr. Cage?

 

BILLY TOGE (O.S.)

(excited)

Yes. Yes. With Mr. Cage.

 

MISS STRUDWIC

Just a moment please. I’ll see if he is available.

 

Toge’s tele-viewer fads to gray.

 

27. INT. OFFICE OF MR. CAGE

 

Mr. Cage at his desk. Tele-viewer buzzes, he ons it.

 

As his tele-viewer picture clears Miss Strudwic is arranging her long hair.

 

MISS STRUDWIC

(smiling)

Sir. Billie Toge wishes to speak with you. Shall I connect him?

 

MR. CAGE (O.S.)

Yes. Put him through.  Thank you Miss Strudwic.

 

Mr. Cage’s tele-viewer changes to gray briefly, then clears to show Billy Toge.

 

MR. CAGE (O.S.)

What news do you have for me today Toge? Good news I hope.

 

BILLY TOGE

(very excited)

The best! It works. My formula works.

 

 

 

MR. CAGE (O.S.)

(excited)

Excellent work Toge. That is good news.  Say no more over the phone. Bring your results to my office immediately.

 

BILLY TOGE

(calm)

Yes sir. Be there as quick as I can.

 

Mr. Cage’s tele-viewer turns gray briefly then Miss Strudwic appears.

 

MR. CAGE (O.S.)

Miss Strudwic contact Jonathon in Acquisitions.  I want to know how the negotiations are proceeding.

 

MISS STRUDWIC

Yes sir Mr. Cage. I’ll contact him now. Be just a moment sir.

 

Mr. Cage s tele-viewer turns gray briefly. A youthful athletic male sporting a red necktie appears.

 

JONATHON

Good day Mr. Cage. The pre-final negotiations to purchase the ten poultry feed companies have been completed.

 

MR. CAGE (O.S.)

What is the total amount for all ten companies?

 

JONATHON

(checks notepad)

$240 million. Total purchase price sir.

 

 

 

MR. CAGE (O.S.)

That’s $240 million. You’ll have my answer by 3pm today. 

 

Mr. Cage’s tele-viewer turns gray briefly, then Miss Strudwic appears.

 

MR. CAGE (O.S.)

Let me know as soon as Billy Toge arrives.

 

MISS STRUDWIC

(smiling wide)

He just walked in the door. Should I send him in?

 

MR. CAGE (O.S.)

Yes Miss Strudwic. Thank you.

 

The tele-viewer fads to black.

 

Mr. Cage’s office door opens and Toge walks quickly to Mr. Cage's desk showing only a hint of a limp. 

 

MR. CAGE

(gestures)

Please sit down.  Let me see the data.

 

Quickly arranged in the chair, Toge opens a briefcase extracting a small metal bottle and a folder.

 

BILLY TOGE

Here is your new drug. Here is the formula.

(hands folder forward)

 

Mr. Cage takes the folder. Opens and reads it.

 

MR. CAGE

So it works? No eggs?

 

BILLY TOGE

(grinning)

Yes.

 

 

MR. CAGE

(looking up)

Every time, every day, every laying hen?

 

BILLY TOGE

(grins confidently)

Yes. 30 hens tested, no eggs. I think they will begin laying in a couple of months, but time did not permit me to verify those results.

 

Toge puts bottle on desk. Mr. Cage grabs it.

 

MR. CAGE

How much of this needs to be added to say, a 50-pound bag of poultry feed?

 

BILLY TOGE

One eyedropper full.

    

MR. CAGE

How quickly does it take effect?

 

BILLY TOGE

(beaming)

In every test, that's 30 hens, it took only a week.

 

MR. CAGE

(nods approval)

How long does it take to make a new batch. Say, a gallon?

 

BILLY TOGE

A gallon? About an hour, if I've got all the materials at hand.

 

MR. CAGE

(hand gestures)

On a massive scale, say, a 1000 gallons?

 

BILLY TOGE

(stares in thought)

If I've got the materials at hand and I increase the equipment size, mmmmm, maybe a couple of days.

 

MR. CAGE

On a super grand scale?

 

Mr. Cage punches numbers into his desk calculator.

 

MR. CAGE

(continuing)

Say 5,000, no, 10,000 gallons?

 

Toge hesitates, uses his index finger against the palm of his left hand to calculate.

 

BILLY TOGE

A typical large tank holds 2,000 gallons, say a batch in 20 hours. 10,000 gallons? Should take 5, maybe 6 days.

 

Mr. Cage notes in his Plan Pad. Looks up at Toge.

 

MR. CAGE

Then if I say go, how long to set up the equipment if the materials are at hand?

 

BILLY TOGE

Considering your resources, we could have a lab up and running in a week, tops.

 

Mr. Cage makes more notes in his Plan Pad.

 

MR. CAGE

A week to set up. Then a week in production. A week for deliveries and another week before it takes effect. That's 4 weeks from today.

(fingers desk calendar)

MR. CAGE

(cont)

14 February to 14 March. Too much time. You said a 2,000-gallon batch. Could you make the entire 10,000 gallons in one batch?

 

BILLY TOGE

Well yes. In just one day, if I had a tank that big.

 

MR. CAGE

(smiling)

Good, you'll have it.

 

Mr. Cage circles 7 March on desk calendar. He punches in a tele-viewer number.

 

As the tele-viewer picture clears Miss Strudwic sits with pad and pen in hand smiling.

 

MR. CAGE (O.S.)

Miss Strudwic. Please contact Jonathon in Acquisitions. Tell him it's a go. Today. I want it done today.

 

MISS STRUDWIC

(quick notes on pad)

Yes sir. Tell Jonathon it’s a go. Buy those ten companies. Do it today. Anything else sir?

 

MR. CAGE (O.S.)

That will be all for now. Thank you Miss Strudwic.

 

FADE OUT

 

 

28. EXT. LABORATORY - AFTERNOON

 

Two large gasoline tankards with copper pipes running into their tops. Heating equipment is underneath the tankards. Large hoses from underneath the tankards run into the side of a large metal building and empty their fluid into blue 50-gallon drums.

 

The full blue drums are then moved onto large semi-trucks. Loaded semi-trucks are leaving the area.

`   

Men in white lab coats are monitoring gauges on the sides of the tankards.

 

Billy Toge instructs a group of young people dressed in blue jump suits.

 

BILLY TOGE

In teams of two, you inspectors will be sent to the feed manufacturing plants. You will ensure that this new additive is put into the feed mixture. This new additive will reduce the possibility of bacteria and increase the size of the eggs. Any bags of old feed still at the manufactures are to be ground up and put back into the new feed mixture process.

 

Toge looks up from his clipboard, eyeballs group.

 

BILLY TOGE

(continuing)

The new owner wants 100% compliance with this new additive procedure. Any trouble by plant employees will be grounds for immediate dismissal. The manufactures have been informed of this new change so you should have no difficulties. Any questions? No? Good. I expect full reports at the end of each week.

 

A male wearing thick safety glasses raises hand.

 

GLASSES

What about the FDA? Has this additive been cleared by them?

 

BILLY TOGE

The FDA approval is still pending. But I can personally assure you that this additive will have no ill affects on any human.

 

Toge eyeballs the group, his pencil ready.

 

BILLY TOGE

(continuing)

Anyone troubled by this can resign now. Anyone? No? Any other questions?

 

Toge slowly eyeballs the group.

 

BILLY TOGE

(continuing)

I want to be sure each team is at their assigned site before the new additive arrives there. If any of you have any trouble in transit, contact me immediately so I can notify the plant manager of the delay. Got it? Good, now go.

 

Toge hand gestures them to leave.

 

The group breaks into teams of two.

 

In the distance Carey and Fran use a powerful telephoto camera to film the tankards, processing equipment, blue 50-gallon drums being loaded into the delivery trucks.

FADE OUT

 

29. INT. POULTRY FEED MANUFACTURE - MORNING

 

Carey and Fran using a powerful telephoto camera.

 

FADE IN

 

The blue 50-gallon drums being emptied into the feed mixing processing equipment.

 

At the end of the processing equipment blue feed bags are filled, then stacked onto pallets, then loaded onto blue delivery trucks.

 

FADE OUT

30. EXT. LOADING DOCK OF RETAIL STORE - AFTERNOON

 

Carey and Fran using a powerful telephoto camera.

 

FADE IN

 

A blue delivery truck parked against the loading dock. Two males in blue uniforms empty the blue feed bags onto the store loading dock.

 

FADE OUT

 

31. EXT. RAILROAD LOADING PLATFORM - AFTERNOON

 

Carey and Fran using a powerful telephoto camera.

 

FADE IN

 

A blue delivery truck parked against the railroad-loading platform. Two males in blue uniforms empty the blue feed bags onto the railroad-loading platform.

 

FADE OUT

 

32. EXT. SHIPYARD LOADING DOCK - AFTERNOON

 

Carey and Fran using a powerful telephoto camera.

 

FADE IN

 

A blue delivery truck parked against the shipyard loading dock. Two males in blue uniforms empty the blue feed bags onto pallets.

 

FADE OUT

    

33. EXT. COUNTRY FEED STORE - AFTERNOON

 

Carey and Fran using a powerful telephoto camera.

 

FADE IN

 

A farmer in overalls loads blue feed bags into old truck.  The farmer drives down gravel road.  The farmer throws feed from blue feed bag into chicken’s yard.

 

FADE OUT

 

34. INT. SECURITY CAMERA CONTROL ROOM

 

     Carey puts a video tape into VCR. Then sits beside Fran.

 

 

CAREY

This video documentary will prove to the Board of Directors and the cops if necessary, that dear brother, Mr. Cage, has flipped and poisoned all the laying hens in the world.

 

FRAN

But shouldn't we stop him now, before the hens stop laying eggs. I mean, like, no eggs for months. What will I do for breakfast?

 

CAREY

Don’t be a childish snip. If you have to have eggs for breakfast we'll just stock up the freezer. Keep your mind on the big picture. When we expose dear brother, Mr. Cage, he'll go to jail or the nut house. And then I, we, will run the corporation.

 

 

35. INT. OFFICE OF MR. CAGE - MORNING

 

Mr. Cage laying on his couch talking to Dr. Frazzor.

    

MR. CAGE

Sorry I had to cancel our last couple of weeks. This new project has had me pretty busy. Real busy.

 

Dr. Frazzor carefully watches Mr. Cage's reaction to his questions.

 

DR. FRAZZOR

Well that's okay. I'm glad to hear that you've gotten involved in a new venture. No better medicine than a new project to take away the troubles and worries of the past. How's the tension? Muscles tight? Nerves frayed? How's your appetite? And are you getting enough rest? Sleeping at night? Any disturbing dreams?

 

Mr. Cage nods appropriately to each question. When the doctor asks of disturbing dreams, Mr. Cage tightens up.

 

MR. CAGE

No problems doctor. I feel like a new man. Food tastes great, bowels working fine. Eight hours shut eye a night.

 

Dr. Frazzor reviews his jotted notes.

 

DR. FRAZZOR

Well that's certainly good. What about dreams? Anything disturbing? Or unpleasant been happening in your dream world?

 

 

 

MR. CAGE

(fretting)

Well, there was this incident a couple of weeks ago. But I got over it. Got into this new venture and it all just went away. Now I sleep like a baby.

 

DR. FRAZZOR

(pressing)

Sounds pretty disturbing to me? Was it frightening?

 

MR. CAGE

Well yes. Very frightening. Thought I was losing my mind.

 

DR. FRAZZOR

Maybe we should talk about it for awhile. Tell me. What do you remember?

 

MR. CAGE

(twisting about)

Well, it's sort of real fuzzy. I guess I forgot most of it.

 

DR. FRAZZOR

Well it seems you've gotten over some it. Yet it may be a good idea to delve a little deeper into your unconscious. Hypnosis might be more revealing.

 

MR. CAGE

Hypnosis? I don’t know.

 

DR. FRAZZOR

If it turns out to be something we should discuss, fine. It it's nothing or best left forgotten, I'll say no more of the matter.

 

MR. CAGE

(very reluctant)

Well. Okay.

 

Dr. Frazzor uses a swinging chain to talk him into a trance.

 

DR. FRAZZOR

You are getting sleepy. Very very sleepy.  Just relax. Relax. You will remember back couple of weeks ago. You will remember the disturbing dream you had. You recall it. Tell me about your dream.

 

MR. CAGE

(very agitated)

I was watching the TV movie ‘Alice in Wonderland’, like you told me. Then I was making an Easter Bunny suit to wear. Then I was hopping around the room like a giant rabbit.

 

DR. FRAZZOR

This was a dream?

 

MR. FRAZZOR

Sort of, but it was more like I was drunk and wild.

 

DR. FRAZZOR

I see.  Go on.

 

MR. CAGE

I awoke on the floor and my suit was covered with cotton. The furniture was all torn. I had to have it replaced.  It was horrible, terrible.

 

DR. FRAZZOR

Yes yes I’m sure it was.  But everything is alright now. You are safe here. You are

DR. FRAZZOR

(cont)

calm and very relaxed. You will slip into a deep sleep.  When I snap my fingers you will awake refreshed.

 

Mr. Cage closes his eyes.  Dr. Frazzor makes some notes and then snaps his fingers.

 

MR. CAGE

What happened? What did I tell you?

 

DR. FRAZZOR

Yes indeed, you certainly had a bizarre dream. Undoubtedly stemming from your childhood neurosis of Easter Egg Hunts. But I must tell you, your story reminds of some of my other patients when they were having a psychotic episode induced by drugs.

 

MR. CAGE

(defensive)

Drugs? I don’t take drugs.

 

DR. FRAZZOR

It is difficult to fathom that watching the Alice in Wonderland movie would have triggered such an episode. Is it possible that you took some medicine by mistake?

 

MR. CAGE

No. I haven’t taken any type of medicine in months.

 

DR. FRAZZOR

Maybe someone drugged you?

 

 

 

MR. CAGE

Actually I did wonder if I had been drugged. I considered an investigation by in-house security, but then I got real involved with this new venture and forgot the incident.

 

DR. FRAZZOR

(agreeable)

Blocking the memory was much easier than contemplating the alternatives. Can I inquire into the nature of this new venture?

 

Mr. Cage sits up, eyes wide with sudden awareness of the consequences of his past weeks actions.

 

MR. CAGE

Not just now doctor. I've just remembered a very important meeting. Sorry to have to cut our session short today. We can continue next week. Thanks.

 

Mr. Cage gestures the doctor toward the door.

 

As the doctor exits the office door, Mr. Cage sits down behind his desk.

 

Mr. Cage unlocks a drawer, extracting the Plan Pad.

 

MR. CAGE

Today is March 15. Most of the hens have been eating the new feed for a week. Any day now the hens will stop laying eggs and the farmers will begin complaining. To whom? Oh my god, what have I done?

 

Mr. Cage drops his head into his hands.

 

 

36. INT. SECURITY CAMERA CONTROL ROOM

 

Carey, watching Mr. Cage’s monitor, dials phone number.

 

CAREY

Rocko. This is Carey Cage. I want you to sell off my poultry feed stock. Not a panic sell, but a fast one. Dump 80% in two days. Got it? Keep 20% in the USA companies. Got it? Good.

 

37. INT. OFFICE OF MR. CAGE

 

Mr. Cage ons the tele-viewer.

 

As the tele-viewer picture clears Miss Strudwic is bent down adjusting a shoe. She stands, turns to the screen.

 

MR. CAGE (O.S.)

(softly)

My oh my oh my.

 

MISS STRUDWIC

Excuse me. What did you say?

 

MR. CAGE (O.S.)

Miss Strudwic, please contact Billy Toge in his private lab. Have him see me immediately.

 

MISS STRUDWIC

Yes sir. Billy Toge to see you immediately. Anything else I can do for you today sir?

(flutters eye lashes)

 

MR. CAGE (O.S.)

Not now. Buzz me when he arrives.

 

FADE OUT

 

 

FADE IN

 

Billy Toge quickly strides to Mr. Cage's desk.

    

MR. CAGE

(gestures)

Sit down please. Is your leg better?

 

BILLY TOGE

(hits his leg)

Yes sir. Completely healed. I don't know how to thank you. What can I do for you today? Another new additive?

 

Mr. Cage fingers his Plan Pad.

 

MR. CAGE

Well, sort of. How do we get those hens to start laying eggs again?

 

BILLY TOGE

Initially you told me to make a drug that only had a temporary affect. No eggs for just two months, it's only been a day or so that they've begun to stop laying.

    

MR. CAGE

Yes you're correct, I said for two months, but...

 

BILLY TOGE

(interrupts)

So I did what you told me. But I wasn't sure for how long they'd stop. Do you remember I said that?

 

MR. CAGE

Yes. That was fine back then. But things have changed. Now I want the hens to lay eggs

    

BILLY TOGE

(pensive)

While the outside lab was making the new additive and transporting it, I stopped feeding the additive to the hens down in my lab. I put them back on their original feed. After a week of being on their old feed, they all began laying eggs again.

 

MR. CAGE

(delighted)

Is that right! Very good.

 

BILLY TOGE

(relieved)

Yes sir. All the farmers have to do is stop feeding them the new additive feed. And the hens will begin laying again.

 

Mr. Cage makes a note in his Plan Pad.

 

MR. CAGE

Fine. Then do that. Send your teams out to the manufactures to ensure they stop using the additive.

 

BILLY TOGE

But sir. The entire additive has been used already. My teams asked me what to do when it was gone and I told them to go back to the original feed mixture formula. And that's what the manufactures have been doing for the past week. There really isn't anything else for us to do.

 

 

 

MR. CAGE

Well that's certainly good news. But, but when will the farmers run out of the new additive feed?

 

BILLY TOGE

Well sir, I have no idea. I guess it depends on how much each farmer has bought. Certainly they would use all of the feed they have on hand before buying more. Wouldn't they?

 

MR. CAGE

Why yes. Of course, that's what a businessman does; he uses existing inventories first. Unless, unless we inform them that there is something wrong. And we send them replacement feed.

 

BILLY TOGE

Yes sir, that would be the moral thing to do. But sir, you would be admitting company error and would have to pay millions in lost incomes and damages to the egg farmers. Does the company have that type of money?

 

Mr. Cage making quick notes in his Plan Pad.

 

MR. CAGE

I doubt it. Mr. Toge, you have a fine head for business. Right now I'm sort of flustered. Any suggestions?

 

BILLY TOGE

Other than let nature run her course? Maybe you could run a sale on feed. Get them to buy

BILLY TOGE

(cont)

sooner than usual. Though until all the new additive feed is gone, the hens won't be laying any eggs. This idea of yours doesn't seem to have been very well thought out, does it sir. If you don't mind me saying so.

 

MR. CAGE

I had my reasons.

 

BILLY TOGE

Since I made the additive, under your directive, is it possible I could be in legal trouble.

 

MR. CAGE

Don't play the fool Toge. You're a bright man. If the law prosecutes, we all go down, including your million in the bank.

 

BILLY TOGE

Yes sir. I can see that. But what if the additive I was making was suppose to have killed bacteria and increased the size of the eggs, just like I told my inspector teams?

 

MR. CAGE

(self muses)

That is a good idea. Should have thought of that.

 

BILLY TOGE

But something went wrong in the batch brewing. Maybe the tankards were contaminated and no one knew.    

(winks)

 

MR. CAGE

(winks back)

Well that must have been what happened, but won't some FDA biologist want to see that original formula of yours?

 

BILLY TOGE

Yes. Yes they would. Seems as if I've got some quick re-work to do. I'll get you a copy of the corrected original formula as soon as I can.

 

MR. CAGE

What about the additive lab equipment?

 

BILLY TOGE

Yes, all of the equipment will have to be sanitized. Then I'll make up a batch of the correct additive. They can take samples of that. Sir, I am truly sorry about those contaminated tankards.

(winks)

 

MR. CAGE

(winks back)

We're only human, accidents happen. Get me that new formula and the new batch. The sooner the better. Any day now the farmers will begin to complain to the FDA. Then the FDA will be knocking on my door. On your door too!

 

Billy Toge sprints to the door.  Stops in thought, then faces Mr. Cage.

 

BILLY TOGE

What about my Swiss account? I'm due my second payment.

 

Mr. Cage shakes his head negative.

 

MR. CAGE

If I pay you any more cash, at this point it will appear as if I approved of the additive that stopped the eggs. That might hang us both.

 

BILLY TOGE

(thoughtful)

Yes yes you’re probably right.

 

MR. CAGE

It will be a wiser move to give you stock in the feed companies. Then you’d have a vested interest.

 

BILLY TOGE

(agreeable)

How much stock?

 

MR. CAGE

Plenty. Enough that no one would suspect you to sabotage the feed of a company you owned so much stock in. Having the stock should exonerate you from blame.

 

BILLY TOGE

(thoughtful)

Yes that is a good cover up plan. You're giving me the stock today?

(demanding)

 

MR. CAGE

(notes on pad)

My secretary will handle the arraignments today.

 

Toge smiles and leaves the office.

 

Mr. Cage picks up his Plan Pad and the formula folder and goes to the den.

 

38. INT. DEN OF MR. CAGE

 

Mr. Cage turns up the fireplace flames.

 

When the Plan Pad and formula folder are in ashes he returns to his office.

 

39. INT. OFFICE OF MR. CAGE

 

Mr. Cage ons the tele-viewer.

 

As the tele-viewer picture clears Miss Strudwic is not at her desk. She hurries into view arranging her skirt.

 

MISS STRUDWIC

(bashful)

Sorry sir, had to use the powder room. What do you need me to do?

 

MR. CAGE (O.S.)

(softly)

Need. Need. I remember need.

 

MISS STRUDWIC

(grinning)

Excuse me. What did you say?

 

MR. CAGE (O.S.)

Miss Strudwic. Has Jonathon completed purchase of the poultry feed companies yet?

 

MISS STRUDWIC

(checks notepad)

He is to contact me when it’s done.  He has not called yet. Sir do you want to buy or sell any more poultry feed stock?

 

 

 

MR. CAGE (O.S.)

(mild panic)

Sell? Sell? No. Definitely not. It would be better to just ride out the storm.

 

MISS STRUDWIC

Sir, what storm?

 

MR. CAGE (O.S.)

That will be all Miss Strudwic, thank you.

 

Mr. Cage’s tele-viewer fads to black.

 

He goes to the couch and lies down in thought. In a very few minutes he quick sits up.

 

MR. CAGE

Dr. Frazzor suggested that I might have been drugged. Just how could that have happened?

 

Mr. Cage hurries from the couch into the TV bedroom.

 

39.  INT. BEDROOM OF MR. CAGE

 

Mr. Cage opens a small door that appears as books. He then reaches in and extracts a video tape from a VCR.

 

He takes the tape to the VCR beside the television, inserts it and sits back in his new viewing chair with the remote.

 

Mr. Cage ons the VCR. He punches in the date 2 February and the VCR whirs fast forward, stops, displaying that date.

 

The television screen shows him fixing a whiskey drink, then sitting down in the viewing chair and punching the VCR remote control buttons.

 

The movie of Alice in Wonderland begins on the screen.

 

He sees himself sipping the drink, then nodding off to sleep.

 

He speeds the tape forward until a male form moves quickly across the room. He slows the tape to normal and sees that his brother, Carey, is pouring something into his whiskey glass. Then Fran and Carey leave.

 

He fast-forwards through his wild rage of tearing up the furniture and the gluing of the bunny suit.

 

He slows the tape when Carey reappears in the room. He watches Carey empty the whiskey glass into the fireplace.

 

He then fast-forwards the tape until the next morning when he goes into the bathroom and emerges in a clean new suit.

    

MR. CAGE

So that's why I went nuts, he drugged me. That's what caused the crazy egg plan. I made him home office security chief and this is how he repays me. He is evil, just like dad always said. Security monitors in each room. He knows about the Plan; he's got it all on tape. Why didn't I think of that? Must have been that damn drug he put in my drink. I'll have his hide for this.

 

Mr. Cage pops out the tape in the VCR and then puts it in his wall safe.

 

He returns to his office desk.

 

40. INT. OFFICE OF MR. CAGE

 

Mr. Cage ons the tele-viewer.

 

As the tele-viewer picture clears Miss Strudwic is stretching backwards at her chair.

 

MR. CAGE (O.S.)

(softly)

Oh my oh my hot mama.

 

MISS STRUDWIC

Excuse me. What did you say?

 

MR. CAGE (O.S.)

Miss Strudwic! Will you please contact my brother, Carey and have him report to me immediately?

 

MISS STRUDWIC

              Sir, he and his fiancée just walked in . . .

 

The office door pops open and slams against the wall.

 

CAREY

(hollering)

My hide! You and what army?

 

Fran carefully closes the door.

 

Mr. Cage and Carey face each other ready to fist fight.

 

MR. CAGE

You drugged my drink. I gave you your job. I trusted you!

 

CAREY

(angry)

Job? That's not a job, it's watching TV all day. Watching you all day!

 

FRAN

(defensive)

And you are boring, very very boring.

 

Mr. Cage looks at Fran, then back at Carey.

 

MR. CAGE

(alarmed)

You let her watch the monitors?

 

 

CAREY

(smiles at Fran)

She's my fiancée. She's as much a part of this family as I am. Besides, she is right, you are very boring.

 

Mr. Cage starts to swing, but checks himself and steps back.

 

MR. CAGE

The point is that you drugged my drink. You could have killed me or put me in an asylum.

 

CAREY

(gradually lowers fists)

Not to worry dear ol' brother, it was just a very mild drug. We do it for fun every weekend. You don't see anything wrong with us, do you?

 

MR. CAGE

(snickers)

That's a matter for debate.

 

FRAN

(accusing)

You're the one doing wrong. You and that Billy Toge are stopping hens from laying eggs.

 

MR. CAGE

(fearful)

She knows about that. What else does she know?

 

CAREY

(grins)

I told you she is family. She knows everything I know and I know everything you have been doing.

 

MR. CAGE

(indigent)

I'll deny it. It'll be you drug fiends' word against mine. You'll lose.

 

CAREY

(righteous)

Don't be an idiot. We've got the whole additive process on tape. Start to finish. Safely tucked away. So it won’t be us going down, it’ll be you going to jail.

 

FRAN

(sneers)

Or to the nut house, dear brother.

 

Mr. Cage drops his hands to his side and staggers back to rest on his desk.

 

MR. CAGE

(despondent)

Nut house, jail? What have I gotten myself into? Wait just a minute. I’ve got a tape of you putting that drug in my drink. It was that drug that made me temporarily crazy. It will be you two going to jail, not me. Ha!

(revived)

 

FRAN

(frightened)

You've got a tape of us drugging you?

 

MR. CAGE

Yes I do. A private camera you didn't know about and the tape is in a very safe, safe place.

 

CAREY

You've got a tape locked away, do you? Well no matter. That was over a month ago and you've been doing your Plan ever since.

 

MR. CAGE

Not my fault. You drugged me.

 

CAREY

And what about today, huh? Instead of notifying the authorities, you and Billy boy have worked out a cover up.

 

FRAN

(accusing finger)

Yea brother dear. A cover up. Either the cops will lock you up or the board will throw you out. And we'll be running this place then.

 

MR. CAGE

You two drugged me. And you didn't call the authorities or the board either, did you?

 

FRAN

Well, ah, no, not yet. But we were going to, weren't we lover?

(kisses Carey)

 

CAREY

Ahh! He has a tape of us drugging him. We could go to jail for that. We haven't notified the board yet and they might not like that.

(sits on chair arm)

 

 

 

 

MR. CAGE

(sarcastically)

Well brother dear. I think we have a Mexican standoff. We keep quiet. We don't tell anyone. If the authorities come knocking, it was Billy Toge, the biologist, who made the mistake.

 

CAREY

Ummm. That might just work. Without the tapes they couldn’t prove different.

 

FRAN

What about all those egg farmers?

MR. CAGE

The corporation might have to pay some fine or buy off some farmers. The hens will begin laying eggs again very soon. I've got a monopoly now and the price of eggs will rise. The stockholders will end up making money and the Board of Directors will be happy.

 

Carey stands up.

 

CAREY

(elated)

You're right. We just keep quiet. I'll burn all the tapes. They can't make us talk, they can’t cause we're brothers. It's our company.

 

Fran, shaking her head worried, goes behind the desk.

 

FRAN

Well maybe they can't make you two brothers talk, but I'm just a fiancée. A grand jury could force me to talk, couldn't they?

 

Both of the Cage brothers turn and face her, then glance at each other, then back to Fran.

 

The voice of Miss Strudwic on the tele-viewer cuts through the tense silence.

 

They turn and face the tele-viewer.

 

MISS STRUDWIC

The law can't make a wife testify against her husband, Mr. Carey.

 

The two brothers look at each other, then back to Fran.

 

Carey goes over to Fran and holds her close.

 

CAREY

Lover, what do you say about getting married, say tonight. 

(kisses her ring finger)

 

FRAN

(giggles)

Yes, of course. I thought you'd never ask. Thanks Miss Strudwic,

(winks at tele-viewer)

 

MR. CAGE

Miss Strudwic. I’m surprised at you. You know I don’t approve of ease dropping.

 

MISS STRUDWIC

(smiles)

Sir. You left the tele-viewer on. I assumed you wanted me as witness. Now I know all the sorted details of your mad egg plan. But, I am just a secretary. A grand jury could easily force me to talk, to tell all.

 

 

FRAN

But they can't force a wife to testify against her husband. Can they, Mr. Cage?

(winks at tele-viewer)

 

MISS STRUDWIC

(winks back)

              No. No they can't force a wife to testify. Can they, Mr. Cage?

(smiles sly at him)

 

Mr. Cage ambles timidly to face Miss Strudwic on the tele-viewer.

 

MR. CAGE

I've loved you from afar, for far too long. Will you give me the honor of your hand in marriage, Miss Strudwic?

(down on one knee)

 

Miss Strudwic disappears from the tele-viewer.

 

The office door opens and she hurries to Mr. Cage still on his knee.

 

While still on his knee Mr. Cage grabs her about the waist.

 

MISS STRUDWIC

(radiant)

Yes sir. I will marry you. We can make it a double ceremony. The company jet can have us in Reno in just a few hours, if that meets with your approval sir.

 

MR. CAGE

Miss Strudwic you are amazing. I’m the happiest man in the world.

 

 

 

FRAN

Wow whew. I love Reno. I love jets. Let's go!

 

Fran tugs Carey's hand toward the door.

 

CAREY

We'll meet you on the plane. I've got some video tapes to destroy first.

 

Miss Strudwic goes to Mr. Cage’s desk and punches in a telephone number.

 

MISS STRUDWIC

Charlie. This is Miss Strudwic at the home office. Have the jet ready to fly to Reno, Nevada. A party of four. Mr. Cage is going to take a holiday. We will be there within the hour. Understand? Very good.

 

FADE OUT

 

41. INT. WEDDING CHAPEL 

 

Two males wearing tuxedoes and two females wearing white wedding gowns face a minister holding bible.

 

MINISTER

I now pronounce you husbands and wives.  You may now kiss.

 

The Cage brothers kiss their new wives, Fran and Miss Strudwic.

 

The foursome runs from the chapel laughing while dodging thrown rice.

42. EXT. AIRPORT - AFTERNOON

 

Mr. Cage, Miss Strudwic, Carey, Fran climb steps into leer jet.

 

 

 

43. INT. AIRPLANE OF MR. CAGE

 

The foursome sits on large soft chairs around a table.

 

MR. CAGE

Miss Strudwic, excuse me dear, Mrs. Cage. Where would you like to go on our honeymoon?

 

MISS STRUDWIC

I hear Acopoco is a nice romantic place.

 

FRAN

Yes indeed. That's where I want to go too. Can we lover?

(nestling Carey)

 

CAREY

Anything you want lover.

(nibbles her ear)

 

Mr. Cage takes the intercom phone.

 

MR. CAGE

Pilot. This is Mr. Cage. Set a course for Acopoco. Very good.

 

Mr. Cage hangs up phone. Leans close to Miss Strudwic,

 

MR. CAGE

We'll be there in a few hours.

 

FRAN

(giggles)

I know just what we can do until we get there.

 

CAREY

(unbuttons his shirt)

So do I lover.  So do I.

 

FRAN

We can play a game.

 

MISS STRUDWIC

Oh goody.  I love games.

 

MR. CAGE

(takes off necktie)

Well dear, if you’re game, then I’m game.

 

Fran opens her suitcase, extracts a box, then puts it on the table.

 

FADE OUT

 

44. INT. AIRPLANE OF MR. CAGE

 

FADE IN

    

The foursome is intently staring at the center of the table.  A monopoly board game is dotted with green houses and red hotels.

 

Mr. Cage rolls the dice.

 

FRAN

(excited)

Three. Far out! That puts you on Park Place.  That’s mine. You owe me $1000.00 Pay up.

 

Mr. Cage fingers through a small stack of play money.                           

    

CAREY

(laughs)

Looks like you’re short a couple hundred. Bankrupt!

 

An overhead red sign flashes: Please take your seats.

 

The foursome looks out the jet windows.

 

MR. CAGE

This doesn't look like the Acopoco airport.

 

The pilot's cabin door opens. Two men dressed in white rabbit suits, one sporting a thick beard, are pointing guns. They speak with Mexican accents.

 

BEARDED MAN

(waves gun)

If you haven't guessed by now, you have been kidnapped. You will contact your corporate headquarters to arrange for the ransom money.

 

MR. CAGE

Is this some kind of a sick joke? Did my psychiatrist put you up to this?

    

2ND KIDNAPPER

The joke is on you. These costumes got us through your security.

 

CAREY

You got to be kidding.  We’re on our honeymoon.

 

BEARDED MAN

(waves gun)

No joke.

 

FRAN

(pleading)

Don’t shot. Don’t shot. He’s rich.  He’ll pay.

 

MR. CAGE

She’s right. I am rich. My company is very rich. Just don’t shot anyone. I’ll pay.  How much do you want?

 

BEARDED MAN

We know you are very rich. We want ten million dollars for the four of you. When the money has been transferred to

 

BEARDED MAN

(cont)

our Swiss bank account you will be free to go.

 

MISS STRUDWIC

Where are the pilots?  Did you shot them?

 

2ND KIDNAPPER

(belly laughs)

Haw Haw Haw! The pilots? They got off in Reno. They should be waking soon. I gave them a strong sedative injection.

 

BEARDED MAN

(waves gun)

Get the director of the board on your phone viewer right now!

 

CAREY

(nervous)

Go on, call him. The company has plenty of money.

 

Mr. Cage punches up the tele-viewer phone. Director Johnson wearing white suit appears on the tele-viewer.

 

MR. CAGE

Johnson. This is Mr. Cage. We have been kidnapped by some, some bearded Mexicans in rabbit suits. They've got guns. We're in the jet at some foreign airport.

 

DIRECTOR JOHNSON

(frowning)

Are you for real Mr. Cage? What kind of prank are you pulling now?

 

The bearded man goes over to the tele-viewer and puts his gun against Mr. Cage's head.

 

BEARDED MAN

This is no prank senior. While Mr. Cage was getting married in Reno, we overpowered his pilots and have kidnapped your president, his brother and their new wives. If you want to see them alive again, you will pay us 10 million dollars. I will give you the Swiss bank account number to transfer our money.

 

DIRECTOR JOHNSON

(laughs)

Ha ha ha ha ha. That's very rich Mr. Cage. Look here mister kidnapper, we at the corporate board don't care what you do to them. Kill them or keep them, we don't care.

 

MR. CAGE

(outraged)

What the hell are you saying Johnson? When I get back there I'll nail your hide to my den wall.

 

DIRECTOR JOHNSON

(laughs)

Ha ha. If you come back here, you'll be going straight to jail, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars.

 

MR. CAGE

(apprehensive)

What the hell are you talking about? Have you gone off your rocker?

 

 

 

 

DIRECTOR JOHNSON

(serious)

Today’s board meeting was rudely interrupted by a federal Marshall, a member of the securities commission and a FDA inspector. They've been at your new laboratory questioning your man, Billy Toge. He confessed everything to them. Your plan to stop the world's production of eggs, quite ingenious and quite crazy.

 

Johnson is nudged aside by a FDA Inspector Barker wearing a black suit and shirt.

 

BARKER

Bob Barker of the Federal Drug Administration.  Some very serious allegations have been brought against you Mr. Cage. I am going to have to ask you to return immediately sir to clear up this matter.

 

DIRECTOR JOHNSON

(nudges Barker)

Mr. Barker. Do you mind. This is a private conversation. Mr. Cage has only been accused, not convicted.

 

MR. CAGE

Thanks Johnson. What exactly has that nut Billy Toge said?

 

DIRECTOR JOHNSON

Toge played them a tape of your conversation putting a million into his Swiss bank account and a million more when the additive was perfected. Do you remember that?

 

MR. CAGE

I assigned Toge to make a feed additive for bigger, better eggs.  I thought a million would keep him quiet till I cornered the feed market.

 

DIRECTOR JOHNSON

So you say. Toge says you wanted to get rid of the eggs. The FDA and a few hundred farmers and their lawyers are out for blood. Your blood.

 

MR. CAGE

Toge is a liar.  He made some kind of mistake with the . .

 

BEARDED MAN

(waves gun)

We want our money or we will kill them all.  No joke.

 

DIRECTOR JOHNSON

I don't know what this kidnapping scam is about and I don't care. Speaking for the board, the company would be better off if you never returned. So if you have been kidnapped, well then, too bad for you, but good for the company.

 

CAREY (O.S.)

He bugged your conversation? They've got a tape? Man, you are toast.

 

Mr. Cage punches the MUTE button and the tele-viewer screen fuzzes silent.

 

MR. CAGE

It must have been during our second meeting.

 

FRAN (O.S.)